


Not Sure

by sharedwithyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Blood, Blood Magic, F/M, Fluff and Humor, It's not actually scary/angsty, Loki Inevitably Makes Himself Into A Pairing With Lovely, Mindfuck, No one needs a hug for once, Reader-Insert, Slight fluff, Trigger if you don't like blood?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:39:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3290648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Loki pointed his finger at you, and blue light levitated you back up to your old rafter. “Now go run along and play with your little archer boy. Do not bother me for the rest of the day.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehe been holding on to this one for a while
> 
> Warning: There is blood in this. It's not torture/evil. It's actually a humor aspect. However if you're very sensitive to blood you have been warned.
> 
> Seriously though this is a light-hearted silly fluffy/funny piece. Since I'm always torturing you guys with angst.
> 
> Enjoy my lovelies!!
> 
> Gimme some love if you like it. Also I may do a sequel if there's interest.

 

You sighed as something whizzed past the part on your head, nearly burning the stray hairs hanging below.

“Loki.” You warned.

“It wasn’t me (y/n). Believe me I wouldn’t have missed.”

You inwardly rolled your eyes, keeping them closed, as your hands stayed curled in a meditative position on your thighs.

 

“Sexy.” You stated.

“My dear, don’t you remember I’ve refrained from firing indoors for the time being. You wouldn’t be hanging upside down from the rafters if we weren’t in the middle of our 5th renovation this month. If I recall correctly you prefer chandeliers hmm?” Tony quipped, snarky as ever.

“Nat.” You spoke pointedly, making it quite clear you had been referring to her instead.

“Wasn’t me, (y/n). I’m done training for today,” Natasha responded, a smile in her voice.

 

“You’re losing your touch, (y/n)!” Tony teased. “Or maybe that’s exactly what you need, hmm? I could teach you a thing or two.”

“Well I know it’s not Barton because he knows bet-“ you were cut off as something else whizzed by your head, this time grazing your part, cutting off a few strands of hair.

“Chicken Feet!” You growled, sighing and doing a cherry drop from the ceiling, your folded knees landing in a fighting stance instinctively. You blinked a few times, adjusting to the blood rushing back from your head. No matter how long you had been meditating upside down like a sloth, it only took a few seconds for you to regain balance.

 

“And they call her Black Widow,” Tony mused, poking fun at your preferred resting position.

Hopping over a counter, you punched Tony as an afterthought as you kept your eyes up.

“I don’t think it was wise of you to interrupt (y/n) again, brother Clint,” Thor poked his head out from rooting out Pop Tarts in the pantry.

The only response was a chuckle as a shadowed form leaped into a vent, sliding into the darkness.

 

“All I know is you guys better not upset The Other Guy like last time,” Natasha said, bored.

“Hey it’s not my fault Clint fell on top of Bruce when I was pummeling him in the vents,” you answered defensively. “He knew exactly where he was going. Just because he didn’t calculate I would catch him so fast doesn’t make it any less his fault.” You eyed an opening above one of the many glass cabinets surrounding the bar.

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Tony warned. The only time he got serious about scuffles was when his precious booze was in danger.

You sighed. “Your alcohol is everywhere. How am I supposed to follow Tweety if I can’t get up there.”

“(Y/N), you do realize there are other floors right? Like a million other ones?”

“I’m not using the elevator. That’s a cheater’s game,” you retorted.

“How did you get up there in the first place then?”

 

You shifted your eyes nervously, “I may have borrowed Nat’s grappling hook.”

Natasha sighed. “Well then why don’t you use it now?”

“That bastard took it!!”

“You really need to get your own. You’ve been with us how long now?”

 

Ignoring the rhetorical, you sidled up to a certain green-eyed sex God. “Loki…”

“No.”

“But I haven’t even-“

“I said no.”

“You know I’m just going to keep asking you until you say yes. It will just take a quick second and you can go back to that porno you’re reading.”

 

Loki glared at you. “This is a classic, you uncultured couth. Not some newspaper stand trash you see Stark reading.”

“Hey!” Tony interjected. “Those bunnies are a work of art!”

“Pleaseeee,” you wheedle, trying to cosy up to the God of Lies.

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Loki pointed his finger at you, and blue light levitated you back up to your old rafter. “Now go run along and play with your little archer boy. Do not bother me for the rest of the day.”

“Thanks Loki!” You called, blowing a kiss at the Asguardian that he pointedly ignored.

 

As you started climbing the wooden beams towards a vent opening you heard Steve walking in. “Do I want to know?” He sighed.

“And that’s not cheating??!!” Tony yelled up at you. “The lovebirds are at it again,” Tony answered cheekily, turning to answer the Captain.

“We’re not lovebirds!!” Your voice travelled down as you pulled a screen off its hinges, and crawled inside one of the vents.

 

“Now where’s that rascal,” you murmured under your breath as you crawled through yet another opening. The vents were quite clean you noticed, probably because Clint spent most of the time in there. Too much of his time, actually. It was almost as if he was more comfortable in a small cramped space then an actual room. You were convinced he spent half the time spying on Nat, too. You sighed. You couldn’t actually blame him. If you were a guy you would be all over Nat too. If you didn’t like her so much you would absolutely resent her.

 

“Catch me if you can,” you heard a husky voice whisper, and you snapped back to the present.

“When I’m done with you Big Bird you’re gonna wish you were in Sesame Street,” you threatened, as you focused your senses to try to locate his position.

 

His laugh echoed from all directions, and you felt your lips twitch on their own accord. You loved his laugh. You could listen to it all day. In fact that’s why you put up with all of his shenanigans; you would do anything to hear that laugh. Even if it meant eventually fleeing for dear life from poor Bruce and sleeping in the living room because your room was always the first thing The Other Guy trashed. Or on the roof if he was especially mad.

 

From your left you heard a slight shuffle, and you honed in on the sound. One of Clint’s gloves. There were two pathways that lead in that direction. You noisily wriggled towards one, hoping to fake him out. You grinned when you heard him retreating down the other pathway. Counter-intuitively, you continued down the wrong corridor, this time silently. He was too smart to be caught this easily. Five seconds later you heard a small beep go off; smoke grenade from the sounds of it. He was playing dirtier than usual. Well, time to up your game then. You reached through the opening above the corridor you were currently in; it was about time you dropped in for a visit. Literally.

 

You swung from one bar to another, one hand at a time, purposely kicking a large column to your left. It shuddered slightly, and promptly cracked as a foot swiftly made contact, just two seconds after you left. Well now, things were getting interesting. In the metal crawlspaces below you a couple daggers sliced their way through the top, narrowly missing your feet as you hung suspended over the metal ceiling. Hmph, he should know better than that. Being in air was your best element. Well, that and-

 

BAM!!

 

You launched yourself from the beams above you, cracking an opening in the crawlspace below while landing neatly, two inches from Hawkeye’s face. Slightly off-guard, he faltered slightly before pulling himself into a defensive stance, narrowly blocking your foot. Somewhere in the distance you heard Steve calling worriedly, “Try not to break anything guys!”

 

“Yes mom!” You two answered in unison before continuing to spar. Glancing a blow off his shoulder you crowed, “You’re getting slow Feather Brain!” In response, Clint expertly executed an escape maneuver, heading up one floor and pulling his bow at ready. “Get ready sweet cheeks, it’s about to get hot in here!” He taunted as he pulled his string taught, ready to fire.

 

“That’s my line!!” Tony hollered somewhere below.

 

“Bring it, Barton!” You catapulted in the opposite direction, grabbing hold of a beam with one hand.

 

Down below, Steve was watching TV with Nat and Thor. Tony was nursing his third glass, studying some blueprints and half-watching the show as well. “When are they going to stop fighting and just fucking…fuck?” He asks to no one in particular. Steve turns a rather attractive shade of scarlet as he looks down in his lap. No one else bothers to respond except for Thor, who snorts loudly. “(Y/N) is a force to be reckoned with, to be sure. Although…” he pauses for a second. “How is she capable of taking down our Brother Clint? She is agile to be sure, and a formidable fighter, but she could not even mount a beam without the help of my younger brother. Has she no weapon to defend herself from Clint’s bow and arrows?”

 

“Never underestimate the wrath of a woman,” Tony answers sardonically as he raises his glass. “Did we ever get a chance to look at her files?” Steve wonders. “Now that you mention it, I don’t remember Fury mentioning any special abilities that (y/n) had.”

 

“Maybe she’s a mini-Widow” Tony quips. “Don’t let her catch you hearing that,” Nat replies. She knows how much you hate being compared to her. “I believe you are correct Natasha,” Thor announces. “I am sure she does not have the womanly wiles that you posses. Or the art of manipulation. If I may say.”

 

This time it is Loki’s turn to snicker. The group turns, surprised that he felt inclined to join the conversation. “Is there something you know, Brother, that we do not?” Thor asks, seeing the smirk on Loki’s face.

Before he can answer, a voice tiredly remarks, “They’re at it again, aren’t they.”

 

“Oh Brother Bruce, how fortunate you are able to join us. Would you like to join us in some entertainment in front of the Big Box? Or perhaps you require some sustenance?” He offers Dr. Banner a pop tart.

Shaking his head Bruce looks directly at Loki. “You know what her powers are don’t you.” Loki grins widely in response. “I thought so.” He sighs again. “You’re the only one who would’ve invoked her powers. Until now, probably. Explains why she’s not scared of you.”

 

Bruce turns, irritated at the situation. “Why didn’t any of you stop her?!” Everyone looks around the room, not making eye contact. Well except Loki and Tony. “Like I always say, do you BooBoo,” Tony answers unashamedly.

“Perhaps if they had been informed of her capabilities they would not have allowed this to happen,” Loki drawls from the comfort of his sofa.

 

“I didn’t expect it to go this far!!” Thunders Bruce, as his hairline tinges green. He puts his hand against his forehead and takes a deep breath. “Alright, I am going to lock myself in my lab. I am not going to help clean up this time. And so help me God if they even come near me…” He doesn’t bother finishing his sentence as he strides away.

 

“Well, looks like it’s time to get serious,” Tony says as he places down his glass. “Care to fill us in on (y/n)’s powers?” Loki merely raises his eyebrows in response. “Come on, Pants on Fire.”

“Well, since you are so interested, perhaps you’d like to see for yourself?” Loki answers haughtily. “They are on the 18th floor currently.”

With a flash everyone disappears and reappears on top of some partially finished ceiling. “We are sitting on top of the 17th floor currently. Please, make yourselves comfortable.” Loki says sarcastically. A second later, a large crash drew everyone’s attention upwards.

 

“Seems like you need to spend a little more time in the range!” You gloated as you dodged another arrow. Intrigued, Clint pauses momentarily. “Seems like I need to stop going easy on you.” Reaching into his quiver, Clint resumes firing again, doubling in speed this time.

 

“Why is she holding on with only one hand?” Steve asks, as you hop around like you’re climbing monkey bars, only holding on with one hand at a time.

“Probably showing off,” Tony smirks. “Hey Donkey Kong!! Aren’t you going to throw some bananas yet?” Thor chokes on a poptart, and Nat the Cat pounds him on the back.

“Probably not the wisest choice to provoke her,” Loki intones.

“Hey! I came up here to see a show! Right now all I see is Legolas trying to catch a monkey! Where’s the excitement?!”

 

You start laughing hysterically when you hear this, and accidentally get grazed by an arrow. “Ouch!” You glared at Clint. “Really Clint? You had to aim for my ass?” Clint grins in response.

“And now the fun begins,” Loki smiles evilly. “Pay attention, now.”

 

You touch the wound gingerly, feeling a drop of blood on your hand. Oh dear.

 

“Clint…” you warned, as you tried to gesture for him to knock it off. “What’s the matter sweet cheeks? Ready to call it quits?” He taunts.

“Move!” You yell as you throw your arm forward. Clint leaps out of the way, eyes wide open, as something flies past him, knocking a beam out of place.

“What the hell was that?” Tony yells. “(Y/N) you better not do any serious damage!! We are not fixing this floor again!”

 

“Uhm…guys?” Clint calls as he jumps to another rafter. “What is that?”

Again your hand shoots forward, and the bar he had been sitting on bends in half. “It looks red. Why is she throwing red stuff?”

 

“That better not be what I think it is.” Natasha’s eyes narrow. “You must be mistaken Lady Natasha,” Thor comments hopefully. Another beam goes flying, this time landing on the floor that the group is sitting on. “Oh no,” Steve’s eyes open in horror and Tony begins freaking out. “Blood??!! Blood!!! Why is there blood??!! (Y/N)??!!!”

“What!” You yell as another bolt-like object flies from your hand.

“(Y/N!) Calm down!” Clint yells as another blast hits near him. “Guys!! Whats wrong with (y/n)?? Do something!!”

 

Thor looks alarmed and Tony looks ill. Nat, keeping her head on her shoulders, turns to Loki, “What do you know. Why is she like this.” Loki merely smirks. “Do not toy with me Loki. You will regret it.”

“(Y/N), please! Calm down!!” Steve calls frantically.

“LOKI! HELP!” You yell as you continue throwing red beams furiously.

 

“Well, what you see before you is a blood-bound spell. Her powers are sealed and appear only when her blood has been spilled.” Loki explains amusedly.

“Well why doesn’t she stop it?? (Y/N)! Stop it!!” Tony sputters. “Also, that’s just creepy!”

“I think I am starting to understand.” Thor booms. “As her powers are bound by blood, they are also bound by spirit. Blood-bound spells are very powerful and are dependent on not only the subject’s physical state, but also their emotional.”

“Very good, brother. I’m surprised you figured it out on your own.” Loki answers snarkily.

“Well how do we make her stop?? She’s clearly pissed!”

 

“I’m sure you’re having a lovely powwow down there, but I’m running out of beams to land on!” Clint shouts as he ducks again. “My arrows are useless against those…things!”

“LOKI!!!!!!!” You roar, as you fruitlessly attempt to stop your hand from sending out another blast.

“Seriously Reindeer Games, if you don’t do something right now you are going back to that glass cell.”

“Please, Loki.” Steve insists. “How do we stop her? You’re the only one that knows how.”

 

“Very well then.” Loki stands, stretching languidly like a cat. “(Y/N),” he calls, before reappearing next to you.

 

“About time!” You turn as your hand instinctively aims towards him. “I-“

 

He swiftly closes the distance between you, and presses his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter as your arm drops loosely by your side. The red liquid all around the room begins to dissipate. You lean against him, tired, and he teleports you back to the living room. Carefully, he places you on the rafter you had hung from earlier, and folds your legs over it so you’re upside down once again.

 

“Hey!! I think you forgot something!” Tony’s voice yells from a distance. “How are we supposed to get down?”

Loki merely blinks and returns to his sofa and picks up his book again.

 

When you open your eyes, you’re still hanging from the rafter, upside down. Everyone seems to have gathered in a circle underneath you, staring at you with a mix of fear and fascination

“Oh, hey guys.” You instinctively rub your sore bum and everyone cringes, reaching for their weapons.

“Woah woah woah.” You raised your hands slowly and swung off the rafter, landing next to Clint on a recliner. He slowly scoots himself away from you, eyeing you carefully.

“Sorry bout that.” You looked around apologetically. “I probably should’ve mentioned something about this earlier.”

 

“You think?!” Tony answers with as much anger as he thinks he can get away with without setting you off again.

“Yeah, (Y/N), that was really dangerous. You could’ve gotten hurt. Not to mention all the danger you put everyone in.” Steve looks at you with serious eyes.

Nat just rolls her eyes. She knows you well enough to know that saying anything now would be pointless. You’d learned your lesson.

 

“I’m sorry.” You hang your head guiltily. “It really only comes out during battle, so I didn’t think I needed to mention it. It’s kind of a really weird power. Or curse thingy.”

“No kidding.” Tony scowls at you from behind what is probably his 6th drink today.

“So… let me get this straight.” Clint turns to look at you. “Your secret power is that when you bleed you shoot blood at people.”

“Yeah… it’s weird I know,” you answer, looking ashamed.

“So… every month…” “CLINT!” you bash him on the head. “ I’m just asking! It seems like the logical conclusion…”

 

You sigh. “Like I said, it usually only comes out during battle. Like in the heat of the moment. I have to be in a very specific emotional state to gain my powers. Once I do though, I can’t really control it.”

“Great, just what we need. Another ticking time bomb.” Tony groans.

“Don’t worry,” you said patting Tony on the knee. “I calm down much quicker than Bruce.”

“Indeed that is true.” Thor rumbles. “And what a fortunate circumstance indeed.” He thumps Loki on the back, who glares balefully at him before returning to his book.

 

“So it takes a kiss to pull you out of the state?” Steve inquires, his cheeks slightly pink.

“Well…” you hem and haw, not sure how to put it. “It works for him, at least.”

Clint wiggles his eyebrows and you blush fiercely. “Any help here Loki.”

Loki smirks for the fiftieth time. “It takes a drastic change of attention and emotion to reverse the blood-bound properties.”

 

Trying to divert the direction of the conversation, you pipe in, “Besides it’s only the second time that it has happened. And I’m sure now that it’s happened again I know how to control it.”

“You better,” Tony warned. “Consider yourself lucky this time. I’m going to let it slide.”

You resist the urge to point out that The Other Guy destroys the building all the time.

 

“Wait we’re not done here,” Clint exclaims. “There are a lot of questions that need to be answered. First of all, what set you off this time?” Everyone turns to look at him. “Okay, okay” he concedes. “Maybe I went a tad overboard.”

“Lady (Y/N) is there a connection between this blood-bond and the long hours you spend suspended in the air?”

“Yes Thor.”

“Oh yeah, that is kinda weird, now that you mention it.”

 

Nat the Cat rolls her eyes at Tony. “I’m guessing it has something to do with your blood flow.”

“That’s right Nat,” you respond. “Since my, er, crazy state is fueled by blood, I need to keep my circulation on a different scale than others.” Steve looks at you thoroughly confused. You hold in a laugh at his adorable facial expressions.

“When I’m upside down, the blood rushes to my head. I meditate in this position often, so I can keep my blood from, well for lack of a better word, settling. That way, my blood spell doesn’t activate as often when I’m in normal circulation.” You look around.

“That doesn’t help at all, does it.”

“Nope!”

“Okay, let’s just say I need to keep my blood flow on its toes so my blood spell doesn’t activate whenever I get a little scrape.”

 

“Well, why don’t you just stay upside down all the time then?” Clint pipes up helpfully.

“I’m starting to think that this discussion is becoming counter-productive.” Finally the voice of reason speaks.

“Thank you Nat.” You say gratefully.

“The point is that this has only happened twice, and she’s been here for quite some time already. Obviously she’s not going to be tearing down the building every time the breaks a nail. Just be aware of her condition.

And don’t be such a dumbass Clint.”

 

Clint smirks at Natasha and you feel a jealous twinge again.

 

“Say, (Y/N), you say this is your second episode?”

“Yes, Anthony” you reply exasperatedly.

“So… what happened last time?”

“Hmm that’s true, (y/n).” Steve added thoughtfully. “I don’t remember anything out of the ordinary happening, involving you anyway.”

Suddenly everyone turned and looked at Loki. Loki made a big show of ignoring everyone and tried to look incredibly engrossed in his book.

 

“Yes brother, how is it that you knew of (y/n)’s powers when the rest of us did not? And how did you learn to stop it?”

Loki shifted, looking increasingly uncomfortable. He glared at you, and you giggled in response. “Tell them, Loki.”

He shot a withering look at you, and you figured you wouldn’t force him to explain. After all he had to take care of the mess earlier. You smiled at the thought, and his scowl deepened.

 

“He laughed at me when I got a paper cut.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOOOOOO!!! I had a lot of fun writing this one. I had a hard time choreographing an interesting battle sequence between lovely and Clint. Hope you enjoyed it. And as always, leave me some love if you enjoyed!
> 
> Random ramblings that are fun to read:
> 
> The blood-bound powers thing is something i've been playing with. I don't know if there are specific terms for it; i just used my imagination. Let me know if you like it. If it weirds you out, sorry. Well, not sorry. I like the idea.
> 
> Let me know if you want a sequel! I might even turn this one into a series. 
> 
> I named this one-shot Not Sure because the pairings are nice and unclear ;). And also because there's lots of mini mysteries i've put in.
> 
> Once again I've stumbled into pulling slight Loki/Lovely into the story. 
> 
> If there is a sequel it's going to focus on developing Clint/Lovely. And maybe some hints at Lokilove. But it won't be the main pairing.
> 
> I purposely left some questions unanswered;
> 
> Why does Lovely only hold on to beams with one hand at a time?
> 
> How did Loki find out the cure? 
> 
> Let me know if you catch any other ones ;). 
> 
> Much love my lovelies! *muah*


	2. Clint Version Dos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at last, the long awaited second installment to this bloody tale.
> 
> don't worry, not that kind of bloody ;)
> 
> i've been working on a lot of stuff so i'm happy to finally come back to clint love. yes clint. i love thee. so much.
> 
> which reminds me, 
> 
> Just watched Hansel and Gretel and it was awesomeeeee  
> Okay it wasn’t that great but it was exciting and fun and OMG JEREMY RENNERRRR *dies*
> 
> the story heats up as you continue trying not to be jealous of Nat and Clint continues being Clint.. and Loki... well i guess you'll just have to see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gimme some love my lovelies!!
> 
> also, everyone go watch Hansel and Gretel now. If you like J Renn that is. 'Cause he's shirtless. And hot. And has a bigass gun instead of a bow.
> 
> The gun is cool but i still prefer the bow. Once a Hawkeye fan always a Hawkeye fan.
> 
> although i have to admit Clint looked bigger than Hansel does. no not that kind of bigger. pervs.
> 
> Now go drool about him. Enjoy lovelies!

“You’re drooling.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Are too.”

 

“Not.”

 

“Too.”

 

“Shut up, I’m trying to concentrate.”

 

“See? Even Stark thinks he’s hot.”

 

“I do not.”

 

 

You, Clint and Tony were watching Loki and Thor duke it out in the arena. Somehow between the thunder and copies the two brothers ended up in a wrestling match, both without their shirts.

 

You’re not sure how it happened, but you were sure as hell not complaining.

 

“Tony, there’s no other earthly reason for you to be concentrating so intently unless you didn’t agree with me.”

 

“Shut up (y/n). I’m studying his technique.”

 

“You two are ridiculous.” Clint rolled his eyes as you leaned forward, hands under your chin, glued to the action.

 

“Technique shmechnique. You’re checking him out and you like what you see. End of story.”

 

“Don’t make me throw you in there, (y/n).”

 

“Gladly.” You and Tony began pushing each other as Clint stood up and stretched, rolling his eyes at you.

 

“Whatever, I’m out. Later.”

 

“Wait, Clint! Come back!” You shoved Tony hard as you tried to climb over him to grab Clint’s hand and drag him back, but Clint was too quick for you.

 

 

“Now look what you did Tony.”

 

“What I did? You’re the one who made it highly gay in here.”

 

“So you weren’t checking out Thor’s abs then?”

 

“Of course not!” Tony retorted, turning his face to his scribbled notes about something sciency.

 

Tony never studied his notes.

 

“You were too.”

 

“Okay, fine!” Tony huffed. “But I wasn’t checking him out. I’m trying to figure out how he gets that big.”

 

“Well I’ve heard Viagra helps-“

 

“Not that kind of big!!” Tony whapped you on the head, and you kicked him in the shin in response.

 

 

“And to think we were the ones sparring.” You and Tony looked up simultaneously, bumping heads.

 

“Ow! Motherfucker!”

 

Loki was looking at the two of you haughtily, while Thor looked amused.

 

“That reminds me. Lady (y/n) I would love to practice with you sometime.”

 

“Practice what?” Tony asked, nudging you.

 

“Stop it!” You elbowed him in the gut. You turned to Thor. “Uhm, yeah, sure. Maybe sometime. You know, when I get more… used to it.”

 

“But of course. Although Lady (y/n), nothing helps one get used to new powers like a good old-fashioned battle among friends.”

 

“Er, right. I’ll keep that in mind.” You ducked your head awkwardly as Thor sauntered off, with Loki strutting along behind him.

 

“Damn, could you be more obvious?”

 

“Shut up Tony, you were just as distracted looking at his sweaty shirtless body.”

 

“You’re sick.”

 

“Look who’s talking.”

 

 

“And there she was, with her tongue hanging out.”

 

“You should’ve seen Tony’s boner,” you retorted as you joined Nat and Tony on the couch.

 

“I did not have a boner!” Tony scowled at you and grabbed at the popcorn.

 

“Hey!” You yanked the bowl back as Nat the Cat leaned back, wishing she hadn’t sat down in the middle. She should have known better by now anyway.

 

“Anyway, I don’t blame you Tony. Even Nat thinks it’s hot.”

 

“Oh really?” Tony leaned forward, interested in this turn of events. It wasn’t often he got to hear anything about Nat the Cat’s romantic interests. Or interests in general. Or basically any personal information.

 

“Not really,” Nat answered offhandedly, munching on a handful of popcorn.

 

“Oh come on,” you nudged Nat as she threw you a small smirk.

 

“Who’s hot?” Bucky walked in, looking for something to eat.

 

“Thor.”

 

“Loki.”

 

“What?!” Tony turned to stare at you incredulously as the two of you answered at the same time.

 

“What?”

 

“I thought we were talking about Thor!!”

 

“You were talking about Thor. I was talking about Loki. Obviously.”

 

“What is wrong with you?!” Once again, Nat regretted sitting in the middle. She got up to grab something to drink.

 

“Nothing!” You answered indignantly. “Look, I know Thor’s buff and all, but Loki’s got that slim fit thing going on.”

 

“Slim fit?! What are we talking about, jeans?”

 

“That’s not what- hey, how would you know about that anyway?”

 

“No reason.” Tony returned to the screen, chomping.

 

“Are you buying Pepper a make-up present again?”

 

“No, I am not!”

 

“What did you do this time?!”

 

“Nothing!”

 

You and Bucky shared a look as Tony stared at the TV, ignoring you both.

 

 

“Anyway, Bucky, who do you think is hotter?”

 

He stuck his head into the fridge and looked around as he replied. “That’s kind of a weird question, isn’t it?”

 

“She’s kind of a weird person in general though.”

 

“Clint!” You reached up and whapped the archer as he hopped onto the couch.

 

“It’s true, don’t even try to deny it.”

 

You tried not to blush as he settled against the sofa in Nat’s old spot, both arms extended on the back of his couch. Now that you mentioned it, his arms were pretty nice and toned too. Damn.

 

“Well, if I had to pick one, I’d probably go for Thor.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Sure. Loki’s just… creepy.”

 

You laughed as Bucky pulled out a loaf of bread and some peanut butter. “You know he’s probably listening in right now.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Tony snorted as he decided to join in again. “So Tasha, when you and (y/n) were talking, which brother were you referring to?”

 

Nat just smiled mysteriously and sat down elegantly on a chair nearby.

 

“Twenty bucks it’s Loki.”

 

“No way, man.”

 

“Wanna bet?”

 

“What’s with you guys and betting?”

 

“It’s money. What’s the problem?”

 

“It’s ego. That’s what.” You and Nat the Cat snickered as the boys argued some more.

 

“Hey guys.” Steve walked in, his hair wet.

 

“All clean, Capsicle?” Tony asked in such a suggestive tone that Steve blushed. Tony could make anything dirty.

 

“Actually I was just out for a swim.”

 

“There’s a pool?!”

 

“Yeah, Tony had it installed last week.”

 

“Didn’t you wonder what the racket was?”

 

“I never wonder what the racket is anymore.” Ever since the last time you walked in on Tony without pants around a bunch of heavy machinery, you decided ignorance was bliss. Very blissful.

 

“Wanna take a dip?”

 

One thought of Clint in a speedo after all the eye candy you had just experienced was a bit overwhelming. “Uhm… pass.”

 

“Whatever. Bucky? Nat?”

 

“No thanks.”

 

“What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll short out?”

 

“Omigod does that actually happen?” You turned and looked at Bucky in shock.

 

“What do you think (y/n)?”

 

“Well…” you pondered for a moment. “Probably not. Since you wouldn’t be able to shower either, and you always smell nice.”

 

“You notice how he smells?” Tony gave you a really weird look.

 

“Of course! I notice how all of you smell.” You realized how awkward that sounded after it came out but it was too late. Oh well.

 

“Really? What do I smell like?”

 

“Soap and roses, Steve.” He blushed again and turned to the tea he was brewing.

 

“Soap and roses? How much fruitier can you get?”

 

“Well you smell like farts and cat puke Tony so you’re not one to talk.”

 

“I do not!” He glared at you indignantly. “…Or is that why Pepper’s not speaking to me?”

 

“I’m pretty sure it’s because you forgot about your anniversary yesterday, sir.”

 

“Oh shit! Jarvis, why didn’t you remind me?!”

 

“I tried to sir. Many times. Each time, you put me on mute. After a few hours you put me on standby. At that point I figured all hope was lost so I decided not to override the commands.”

 

“Always override the commands!” He slapped his forehead in frustration. “Crap! I gotta go buy something. Later guys.”

 

“Bye!” You and Nat muffled your laughs as he sprinted to the elevator.

 

“So Nat, you coming?”

 

“Not really in the mood for a swim, sorry.”

 

“Come on, I bet the water’s just right.”

 

“Some other time.”

 

“Seriously?!”

 

You and Bucky rolled your eyes as Nat the Cat shook her head again. You were both thinking the same thing; Clint was hoping Nat had a really sexy bikini. Which she probably did. But she wouldn’t show anyone anyway. With great power comes great responsibility, after all.

 

“Whatever. You guys suck.” He walked off whistling as Bucky came over to watch TV. Of course instead of sitting down, he was leaning against the sofa arm casually.

 

“Why are you so cool, Bucky?”

 

“It comes naturally, babe.”

 

You stuck your tongue out at him at the nickname. Not that you minded.

 

“So tell me sweetcakes, what’s on your mind?”

 

“Watch it Bucky. You might be waterproof but I bet you’re not blood proof.”

 

“That’s right huh. I missed it last time. Care to give me a demonstration.”

 

“In your dreams.”

 

“Maybe it is.” You punched him, before shaking your hand furiously. You forget about his arm all the time.

 

“Let me guess. It’s about Tweety.”

 

“Shh!! He might hear you!!” You whispered so urgently it was probably louder than Bucky was talking.

 

“Dude. Like everyone knows.”

 

“Nu uh.”

 

“Yes. Look at Nat. It’s obvious.”

 

“Of course Nat knows.”

 

“And why is that?”

 

“She’s the Black Widow.” You made a serious face as she laughed and came to join you again.

 

“Well Steve knows too.”

 

“What, how?!”

 

“We talked about it.”

 

“You guys talk about me behind my back?!”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He took a bite of sandwich before continuing. “We talk about all of you.”

 

“Ugh.” You leaned heavily against Nat the Cat, who bumped you back up with her shoulder.

 

“It’s okay (y/n). At least Tony doesn’t know.”

 

“Yeah, only ‘cause he thinks I’m into Loki.”

 

“Well aren’t you?”

 

“What?! Of course not Bucky!”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes!” You were very flustered at this point. Why was everyone so interested in your love life?! “Can we talk about something else now?!”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like, I don’t know, anything?!”

 

“Okay, let’s talk about your secret powers.”

 

“Anything but that!”

 

“Now you’re just being picky.”

 

You banged your head on the back of the couch as your friends laughed. What would you do without them.

 

 

“(Y/n).”

 

…

 

“(Y/n)!”

 

….

 

“(Y/n) (y/n) (y/n)!”

 

“I’m trying to meditate.”

 

“Well, obviously it’s not working.”

 

“Yes it is. Otherwise you’d be dead.”

 

“Come on. Open your eyes, I need your help.”

 

You cracked one eye open and saw a head of fluffy brown hair. Clint.

 

“What, Birdy?”

 

“It’s about Tasha.”

 

Of course it was.

 

“What about her?”

 

“I figured out why she wouldn’t come swim with us.”

 

Because she didn’t want you ogling at her? Or every man who’s stepped foot in the tower?

 

“Why?”

 

“She doesn’t have a suit!”

 

“Uh… how do you know?”

 

“Because, I looked through her closet.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Relax. It was for research purposes.”

 

“What kind of research?!”

 

“Bra sizes.”

 

“…I don’t even wanna know anymore Hawk.”

 

“Good. Anyway, I need your help.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because! Bathing suits are a girl thing!”

 

“How?!”

 

“They just are!”

 

“Why can’t you just ask the sales person?”

 

“Because that’s weird.”

 

“As opposed to asking me while I’m meditating?!”

 

“Yes. I know you. And you’re weird.”

 

“Wow. Thanks.”

 

“And you’re upside down.”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?!”

 

“It doesn’t.”

 

You sighed. You couldn’t believe you were attracted to this pinhead.

 

“Just tell her that it’s for your girlfriend.”

 

“No!!”

 

“Fine. Tell her it’s for your sister.”

 

“That’s even weirder.”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Because… I don’t know. It’s like buying lingerie.”

 

“What’s wrong with buying lingerie?” Your eyes suddenly widened as you peered at him. “Wait, you’ve never bought lingerie before?”

 

“No.” He looked at you confused and slightly embarrassed.

 

“Seriously?!”

 

“Yes! Why, is it a bad thing?”

 

“No. I just assumed you would’ve had a few serious girlfriends right now.”

 

“Yeah well…” he scratched his head. It was so cute. “Kinda hard to do that when you’re a trained assassin.”

 

“I guess you’re right.” You thought about it for a moment. “Hey, haven’t you already looked Nat’s bras.”

 

“So?!” He asked defensively.

 

“So you’ve basically handled the lingerie issue. Swimsuits should be a piece of cake!”

 

“No!”

 

“What is with you?” You rolled your eyes. “Afraid a bikini will bite?”

 

“I don’t wanna touch it.”

 

You opened your eyes all the way. “You... don’t…. want to touch it?”

 

“What?!” Now this was just getting hilarious.

 

“Why not?!”

 

“It’s weird!”

 

“Weirder than going through your friends’ underwear?”

 

“It wasn’t underwear! It was only bras! I would never go through her underwear.”

 

“It’s the same thing.”

 

“It’s not!”

 

Okay, this was getting nowhere. You sighed, exasperated, before doing a flip and hopping down.

 

“Fine. I’ll go with. But only if you tell me why you’re acting weird.”

 

“I’m not acting weird!”

 

“You are so weird.”

 

“You’re the weird one!”

 

Bucky shook his head as he watched you and Clint bickering all the way to the elevator. “When are they going to get together.”

 

“Beats me.”

 

“Hey, aren’t you mad he went through your stuff?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“Seriously Nat?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Not even that he went through your bras?!”

 

“It’s cool.”

 

“Damn.” Bucky whistled. “I figured you’d be bent out of shape.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Great! So can I take a look?! OW!”

 

 

“So, what do you think we should get her?”

 

“Something sleek and black.”

 

“Really? That’s so… boring.”

 

“What would you suggest?”

 

“I don’t know, I’m a guy! That’s why I’m bringing you!”

 

“Then don’t hate on my suggestions!”

 

“Well it wasn’t a very good one. Ow!”

 

The driver looked at you guys through the rearview mirror before putting his eyes back on the road. You felt bad for the guy.

 

“So are you gonna give it to her for her birthday or what?”

 

“I don’t know when it is.”

 

“So are you just gonna give it to her?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“Isn’t it a little weird?”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Just randomly giving someone a bathing suit.”

 

“I don’t know!”

 

“Oh my God Clint you are helpless.”

 

“Shut up! That’s why you’re here!”

 

You mentally sighed. It was kind of depressing being with the love of your life shopping for something so he can impress your friend. Really depressing. But you couldn’t help having fun whenever you were with this guy. And anyway, if Nat really didn’t have a suit, you wouldn’t mind chipping in.

 

 

“Okay, sleek, black. How about this one?”

 

“Clint, we’re in the maternity section.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“The mannequins with the huge stomachs didn’t tip you off?”

 

“Hey, I love all women, big or small.”

 

“Should we head to the toddler’s section then?”

 

“Now that’s just fucked up.”

 

You tipped your head back with a roar of laughter causing a mom with two kids in tow to hurry past you.

 

“Great, you’re scaring the moms.”

 

“Say’s the guy who’s heading for the toddler’s section.”

 

“Shut up and take me where we’re supposed to go!”

 

After you had finally located the ladies section, you got to work.

 

“Okay, let’s get down to business Clint. First of all, what’s our budget.”

 

“Budget?”

 

“Yes. You know, how much you want to spend.”

 

“Uh… I don’t know. How much do you usually spend on a swimsuit?”

 

“Depends, are we getting designer or not?”

 

“This is hard!” he whined as two teenage girls walked passed, eyeing him and giggling.

 

Back off bitches. He’s mine. Or Nat’s.

 

“Okay, let’s make it simple. How much money do you have.”

 

“In my savings?”

 

“With you right now!” Was he dropped on his head as a kid?

 

“Uhh let’s see.” He pulled out his wallet and rifled through it. “Five hundred bucks.”

 

“Okay five hu- WHAT?!”

 

“What?”

 

“You carry that much cash around?!”

 

“Is it a lot?”

 

“Yes!! Clint, why do you have a half-stack on your person. Are you on drugs?”

 

“No! An archer’s got to be on top of his game. Those things mess with your head.”

 

“Are you selling?”

 

“And if I am?”

 

“Well can I get in on it?”

 

“(Y/n)!”

 

“You started it!”

 

“Ugh, I should’ve just asked Tasha.”

 

“Yeah, why didn’t you?”

 

“Uhh because…”

 

“Because what?”

 

“I uh… want it to be a surprise.” Fair enough.

 

“Okay, well let’s just look at some stuff and see what we got.”

 

 

Your original plan was to split up in the massive department and each pick a couple options to meet up and compare. After the whole maternity incident though, you decided you better stick together.

 

“Okay, how about this one?”

 

“Orange with yellow polka dots?!”

 

“What?!” He glowered at you defensively.

 

“What happened to sleek and black?!”

 

“You made such a big deal about it earlier!”

 

“I made a big deal about it being for pregnant women!”

 

A young couple shot a dirty look at you as they passed.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with pregnant women though! Birth is a beautiful thing!” You yelled loudly, hoping they would forgive you.

 

“This is embarrassing.”

 

“You think?!”

 

This was going to take a while.

 

After spending half an hour explaining the differences between two pieces, tankinis, bikinis and monokinis, Clint decided he needed a snack break.

 

“Clint, we haven’t even made our preliminary decisions yet!”

 

“Preliminary?! How many are there?!”

 

“Well do you just want to pick the first thing off the hanger and go?”

 

“At this point, yes!”

 

“Fine, let’s do that then.” You huffed and marched over to a rack with a couple black and white suits.

 

“How about this one?” You picked a one-piece black suit that had an asymmetrical white pattern on the front, and a couple geometrical cutouts. “Sexy but classy. Just like Nat!”

 

“I don’t know,” he said narrowing his eyes. Honestly?! Now he was getting picky?! “Hold it up against you.”

 

You sighed and held it up.

 

“Hmm… I don’t think so.”

 

“I thought you wanted to get this over with!”

 

“Yeah but that one looks too blah.”

 

“Are we getting a suit for Nat or for you!”

 

“Hey if I’m paying for it I want it to look good.”

 

“Fine, then pick one you like.”

 

He wandered over to the next section before picking up a little white bikini. Really little.

 

“This one’s nice.”

 

“Clint! That one’s not even gonna cover her ass!”

 

“Exactly!” He winked and you groaned. “You know, if you get that for her she’s never going to wear it.”

 

“Why not?!” He whined.

 

“She’s not going to want to show that much skin!” He grumbled and put it back. “I’m thirsty.”

 

“Then stop talking.”

 

“Go get us smoothies.”

 

“Why me?!”

 

“Because. I need some time to decide.”

 

“You’re not doing a very good job at it. What are you going to do without me?”

 

“Uhm, get it done without your yapping.” He ducked as you tried to whap him in the ear. He was used to your violent tendencies. Er, affectionate use of force. Friendly punches?

 

“Fine.” You opened your hand and he stuffed some bills in it.

 

“Keep the change.”

 

“I’m not a waitress- holy shit Clint this is like a hundred dollars. What do you want me to get smoothie with caviar?”

 

“Just go away! And don’t come back until you have the smoothies.”

 

“Okay, okay. Yeesh.” You marched off to find the food court. On the way, you wondered why he had so much money with him. He wasn’t the sketchy type, but it was definitely worth looking into. You walked up to a string of stands and groaned. The Jamba Juice line looked like an opening day for Xbox One.

 

“Problem?”

 

“Huh?” You turned to see an attractive guy with spiky black hair. “No, just getting in line for a smoothie.”

 

“Why don’t you try the health food store across the street? They make the smoothies fresh in their deli.”

 

“Oh, thanks!” You perked up, and headed off in the direction. 5 steps later, you realized you didn’t know how to get out of the mall. In fact you didn’t even know where the store you left Clint in was. Luckily, when you turned, the cute guy was still there. “Uhm, excuse me. Could you give me some directions?”

 

“Well as a matter of fact, I’m heading there right now. You can come with me if you’d like.”

 

“That sounds good!” This day was definitely looking up. You got to watch Loki shirtless, you hung out with Clint, even if it was to buy something for Nat who you were sure he had the hots for, and now you had met this cool new guy.

 

“Alright, it’s this way.” He motioned towards the escalator and you followed. “I’m Clint, by the way.”

 

“Seriously?!”

 

“Yeah.” He lifted his brow at you.

 

“Oh sorry, it’s just the friend I came with earlier is also named Clint.”

 

“Ah. Boyfriend?”

 

You felt your cheeks turn pink. “Oh no, just a friend.”

 

“Cool.” He smiled and your heart jumped. “So are you going to tell me your name?”

 

“Hmm, I don’t know.” You pretended to think about it. “I usually don’t talk to strangers.”

 

“Well considering you’re going to a foreign place with said stranger, I don’t think that giving your name will put you in anymore danger.”

 

You giggled. If only he knew what would happen if he actually turned out to be a threat. “(Y/n).”

 

“Well, (y/n), is your guy friend going to mind that I steal you for a bit?”

 

“Oh I’m sure he won’t even notice I’m gone.” You shrugged as you reached the mall entrance which you recognized from earlier.

 

“There it is, up ahead.” He pointed to a small grocery store across the street. Just then, five rowdy kids rushed past you, catching you off guard.

 

“Ooph!” Clint (the black-haired beauty) put a hand on your arm to help steady you. As you continued, he kept it there a little longer than necessary before putting his hands in his pocket. Cute. Really cute.

 

“So (y/n), tell me about yourself.” Classic, but not too cliché.

 

“Well, what do you want to know?”

 

“Do you like long walks on the beach?” He gave you sarcastic smile and you rolled your eyes.

 

“Actually I prefer hanging out on rooftops and drinking beer, getting totallyyy smashed.”

 

“Groovy.” You both laughed as the automatic doors slid open and the smell of apples filled the air.

 

“Here we are.” You walked to the deli and took a look at the menu. “Oh no. I’m terrible at deciding.”

 

“Pretty much everything is good. I usually go for the classic strawberry banana but you can get the mango pineapple or the spinach acai if you’re feeling bold.” You shuddered at the idea of a spinach smoothie and he chuckled.

 

“Hmm I guess I’ll have the strawberry smoothie then.”

 

“Make that two.” Clint leaned over the counter and handed over his card.

 

“Hold on!” Your hand was in your purse and you tugged at some bills.

 

“Nah, it’s on me.” He smiled at you, and bit your lip before smiling back.

 

“Oh wait I gotta get one for my friend too.”

 

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind, maybe we could sit down for a bit and talk about your rooftop adventures, and get your friend’s smoothie later.”

 

You grinned. “I suppose I could accommodate you into my schedule.”

 

He grabbed the two cups the cashier slid over and motioned with his head towards a table nearby. He pulled out a seat for you with a flourish and took the chair next to you.

 

“Cheers,” he said, lifting his cup and smirking. Cheeky. You liked it.

 

You took a sip and sighed. Exactly what you needed.

 

“Like it?” You gave him a thumbs up and slurped some more.

 

“So, Clint.”

 

“So, (y/n).” He leaned forward with his chin on his hand and you laughed.

 

“What brings you to New York City?”

 

“I go to the New School here.”

 

“The… new school?”

 

He laughed. “The New School for Jazz. It’s a new conservatory.”

 

“So you’re a college student?”

 

“Grad student, actually. Got my Bachelors from Berklee College of Music.”

 

“Boston,” you nodded. “So what instrument do you play?”

 

“Guess.”

 

“Hmm… piano?”

 

“I’m a vocalist.”

 

“Really?!” Oh God, he was probably gay. Damn.

 

“Yes. But I swear, I’m straight.”

 

You almost choked on your smoothie and he patted your back in amusement. “Don’t worry, Clint,” you joked once you had cleared your throat. “I would’ve liked you anyway.”

 

“Yes, but it would’ve been awkward when I asked for your number, wouldn’t it.” You ducked your head a little at his devilish smile. God, he was hot.

 

“(Y/n)!” You heard some call your name loudly. Aw, crap.

 

“Hey, Clint.” You called as a pissed looking archer stomped over.

 

“Where’ve you been?!”

 

“Uh, getting us smoothies?” You waved your cup in his face for emphasis.

 

“What took you so long?” He noticed Clint then, and narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“Right. This is Clint. Clint, this is the friend I came with. Er, Clint.” Wow, that sounded stupid, even for you.

 

“Nice to meet you.” Jazz Clint stood up with a smile and stuck out his hand.

 

“Uh huh.” Clint looked distracted as he turned to you. “Come on (y/n) we have to get going.”

 

“Now?!”

 

“Yes, now!” He looked quite serious so you stood up and brushed your hands against your shorts.

 

“Sorry to sip and split, Clint, but something’s come up I guess.” You gave him an apologetic look.

 

“That’s alright.” He turned to Clint and then back to you. “It was nice meeting you. Clint, (y/n).”

 

“You too.” You grinned and turned to go, before whipping around. You leaned over and took his phone which was sitting on the table. You quickly punched your number and clicked dial. “Call me,” you half-whispered to him before practically getting dragged out by Clint. Jazz Clint gave you a sexy smile as you rounded the corner and hung up.

 

“Geez, Clint, what was that all about?!” You asked him grumpily as he hailed a cab.

 

“I was waiting forever in the swim department, (y/n)!”

 

“It’s been like 45 minutes!”

 

“It takes like 2 minutes to get a smoothie!”

 

“There was a hugeass line at Jamba! That’s why I had to come here in the first place!”

 

“Right. And that guy just happened to be there with you.”

 

“So, what’s it to you?!”

 

“So, I looked all around the mall for you and you weren’t there!”

 

“If that’s the case, how’d you end up here?”

 

“I had to hack the security system to find you with entrance cam!”

 

You smacked your head and leaned against headrest, hard. “Clint, next time, just call me.”

 

He looked down at his pockets and then at you. “Oh. Right.”

 

“Clint?”

 

“What?!”

 

“How is it that you call me weird?!”

 

“Hey I’m not the one who gets her period and-“

 

“SHUSH!”

 

The poor cabbie avoided eye contact as you and Clint continued to make fun of each other.

 

“Hey, that’s my smoothie, give it back!”

 

“It’s mine now, since you didn’t get me one.”

 

“I didn’t get you one because you yanked me out of there!”

 

“Well it was my money.”

 

“It was not! Clint bought that for me!”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No, not you. The other Clint!”

 

“Whatever.”

 

 

“Hey Clint, hey little Vampire.”

 

“Hey Bucky.” He was watching Steve and Thor play Mario Kart.

 

“Find anything interesting?”

 

“Actually yes. Or someone, anyway.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“You go girl.” You gave him a high five and sat down next to Thor. “Who’s winning?”

 

“Hard to tell. I forgot who’s on which screen.”

 

“Really Bucky?!”

 

“Hey, in my time when we wanted to race, we would race. Not spin those plastic wheel thingies like morons.”

 

“Argh!!!” Thor yelled as a red shell bopped his cart from behind.

 

“Sorry,” Steve apologized as Luigi slid past, finishing first.

 

“You’re so cute Steve.” You leaned down and put your arms around his neck and he blushed slightly, beaming up at you.

 

“Hey how about some love here?”

 

“Don’t think so Tony. Aren’t you and Pepper back together?”

 

“Uh, yeah about that…”

 

“Oh no, did you get her a giant bunny this time?”

 

“No!” He retorted defensively. “I got her lingerie.”

 

“See, it is weird.” Clint commented as he swung around on the bar stool.

 

“It is not!”

 

“Tony,” you sighed as you walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Lingerie is a good gift; for the guy. As far as girls are concerned, getting lingerie on an anniversary is like getting an iron. “

 

“What?!”

 

“Think about it. She’s wearing it, but you’re the one having your nasty little fantasies.”

 

“They’re not nasty! They’re creative.”

 

“That’s not what I say last time.”

 

“Yeah well you didn’t stay for the whole show.” You shuddered at the construction nightmare.

 

“Anyway, if I don’t get her lingerie, she’ll never have anything sexy.”

 

“Look, Tony, you can get her lingerie. Just do it as a surprise or something. For date night. Not something important like birthdays and stuff.”

 

“Ahhh okay.” He nodded thoughtfully. “So… what do I do now?”

 

“Hey, I answered one question. And I already took Green Arrow shopping. I’m done with helping hopeless guys for today.”

 

“Oh yeah that reminds me. What’d you get Barton?”

 

“Nothing.” He stuffed his bags behind him and hurried down the hall.

 

“Okay, that was weird.”

 

“Tell me about it.” You settled against Bucky and watched Thor throw down his controller in victory when Yoshi finally made first.

 

“So, (y/n). What’s up with this mystery man.”

 

“Oh yeah.” You smiled dreamily. “Clint.”

 

“Woah, you guys got together? Nice!” He and Tony fist bumped while Steve patted your arm. “It’s about time.”

 

“Whaa-OH. No. Not that Clint.”

 

Steve furrowed his brow. “What do you mean not that Clint.”

 

“Oh right. I met this guy at the mall today. His name’s also Clint.”

 

“Oh.” Steve looked disappointed and Tony sighed loudly.

 

“What?!”

 

“Nothinggg.”

 

“Don’t do that Tony.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Pretend to be about to say something and then not say anything.”

 

“That makes no sense.”

 

“It makes exact sense.”

 

“Well, I shall congratulate Brother Clint on this news.” Thor, who had just finished celebrating his win had apparently missed most of the conversation.

 

“Uh yeah, I’d hold off on that for now, Thor.”

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“Let’s just say all’s not well in the bird nest.”

 

“That’s just stupid Tony.”

 

 

“Knock knock.”

 

“Come in.”

 

“You’re supposed to say who’s there, Nat.”

 

You heard her sigh as you walked in. “What’s up?”

 

“Not much.” She turned from her laptop as you sat on her bed. “How was the mall?”

 

“Eh? You know Clint.”

 

She nodded sagely.

 

“Oh, I did meet this cute guy though.”

 

“Really? What’s his name.”

 

“Clint.”

 

She snickered. “What?!”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Come on, Nat.”

 

“You’ve got to admit it’s funny.”

 

“Yeah yeah, maybe. Well at least this one’s interested in me.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” You started talking to her and she turned back to the laptop and started typing.

 

“So you said he went to Berklee and now he goes to the New School?”

 

“Yeah why- oh no, Nat you’re not googling him are you?!”

 

“Of course I am!”

 

“No, Nat! Google your own guy!”

 

“I don’t have a guy.”

 

“Then find a guy and google him! Don’t do this to me Nat!”

 

“Don’t worry, (y/n), I’ll just look him up on the school websites. And then cycle him through a few lists, and we’re all good.”

 

“No Nat, you are not hacking the criminal database this time.”

 

“Fine, I’ll go easy on him. No Interpol.”

 

“Nat!!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MUAHAHAHAHA there's a new Clint in the picture. what shall we do??
> 
> there is much to be done my friends. thanks for reading and leave me a comment if you liked it! you guys are my bread of life! (or bread of encouragement. something like that.)
> 
> random ramblings for those who like fun:
> 
> I actually really like jazz, though not as much as my pop/top 40/rap crap ;) i loved being able to throw a little bit of it into my fics
> 
> the shopping part was so fun to write. it reminds me of my trips with my sis (i once saw a really cute pink top that looked great on- my sis figured out it was a maternity top though. in my defense it was in the junior's section)
> 
> Black haired Clint is swoon!! I wanted the banter between lovely and him to be just right. let me know how i did. would you be interested if him if you were there?  
> oh and let me know if you want more Clint Version Dos
> 
> good ole' clint hacking the cameras to find you. he's such a loveable doof. 
> 
> kudos if you got the googling reference ;) leave it to protective Nat to have your back... even if it's a little excessive
> 
> i thought Luigi was the perfect character for Steve. Mario would work too but i like luigi because he's more awkward/funny/shy 
> 
> i was tempted to give Thor Bowser (as probably everyone else was) but in the end i decided he might like a dragon as well (and who doesn't love yoshi?!)
> 
> Quick poll: who's your fav Mario Kart character? Mine is Birdo. Wahh wahhh
> 
> Quick Poll 2:  
> why does Clint carry so much cash with him?!
> 
> Quick Poll 3:  
> who would you rather see shirtless, thor or loki? ( i'm with lovely on this one- as much as i love buff guys there's something about loki. even if he is pale and thinner.)


	3. Would you like some bread with your Jellyyy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All becomes clear... clearer
> 
> Clint has a hot head. Loki has a hot bod. Do the math.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just kidding both have hot heads and hot bods. who would you pick? great, started my poll already
> 
> lots of cool things happening in this chapter so i'll just have you go ahead and read/mindfuck!
> 
> enjoy my lovelies!! and gimme some love if you liked

 

Back in the Arena, Clint was doing target practice with Bucky and Steve.

 

“Shit man, you’re off your game.”

 

“Bucky!”

 

“I’m serious Steve, he missed like twice already.”

 

“Maybe your throw was off.”

 

“Nah, he’s Hawkeye not Hawknose.”

 

Steve rolled his eyes at the joke, before the two of them continued their flips and blocks.

 

“I tell you, it’s (y/n).”

 

“What about her?”

 

“Didn’t you hear? About her and the new guy?”

 

“Oh, right.” Steve thought for a moment, ducking when an arrow whizzed by his shoulder. “Didn’t they go shopping together though?”

 

“Yep. That’s where she met the guy.”

 

“How can she meet a guy while Clint’s buying her a swimsuit?”

 

“Oh yeah. Clint told her it was for Tasha.”

 

“Really?” Bucky flipped a few blades in the air, as the arrows bounced off them. “Not bad, Barton!” he called before continuing. “Yeah, he chickened out last minute and told her it was for Nat.”

 

“You’re kidding.” Steve sighed as he threw his shield in an arc and Clint sent out 7 arrows, hitting the shield each time in its descent.

 

“Yeah, he’s got to get his act together. Right now I think she’s getting the feeling he’s into Nat.”

 

“Oh no.” Steve knew how much you adored Clint.

 

“Right? Well, that guy’s a mess when it comes to girls. Or anything that doesn’t involve shooting.” He did a couple flips in the air and Clint managed to score one right between his shoulder and his metal arm. “Bingo.”

 

 

“Ding ding ding dinnertime!!” Tony was ringing this enormous silver bell that he had for some reason.

 

Loki walked over and put his hand on Tony’s, stopping him.

 

“Killjoy.”

 

“What are we having?” You and Nat the Cat walked in as Tony tried to wrestle the bell away from him.

 

“I have prepared a romantic dinner. As an apology for Pepper.”

 

“And… you want all of us to watch?”

 

“Actually… I need you guys to help.”

 

“No.” Loki said before vanishing.

 

“Hey! Reindeer Games!” He sighed and turned to everyone. “Look-“

 

“We’re busy,” you and Nat said at the same time before backing out slowly.

 

“Please!!!” Tony howled as he dropped to his knees with his hands clasped together. He was such a drama queen. “I haven’t had sex for like a week!”

 

“Seriously? I haven’t had sex for like a year.”

 

“Really?!” Bucky and Steve turned to you with interest. Actually Bucky turned to look you in the eye, while Steve looked at your feet.

 

“Yeah. Why, you guys get lucky often?”

 

“Well, Thor has Jane.”

 

“And you have Steve?”

 

Bucky roared with laughter while Steve turned into an eggplant.

 

“When’s the last time you got busy Nat?” Clint dropped down, putting one arm around you and Nat.

 

“Busy kicking your ass?”

 

“Oh hey Clint did you-“

 

“NO!” Clint answered abruptly.

 

“Ookay.” You hadn’t told Nat the Cat yet, in case it was a surprise.

 

“Hey, don’t you have a dinner date?”

 

“Oh right! Thanks for the reminder, Nat.”

 

“Hot date?”

 

“Yeah Bucky. With Clint.”

 

“Right. Not Robin Hood though.”

 

You snickered. “No, no men in tights.”

 

“Hey, I happen to look good in tights.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Uh, nevermind.”

 

“Well, what time is your date?

 

“8:30.”

 

“Well, perfect! You have exactly 1 hour to help me out with dinner before you get ready.”

 

“Not bad, Tony. You gave me a whole hour to get dressed.”

 

“See? I’m a good boyfriend. Pepper should come back.”

 

“You know she’s going to figure out you didn’t actually make anything like 2 seconds after she sees it right?”

 

“Whatever, screw you guys. I’ll do this on my own.”

 

“Perfect. Let’s watch.”

 

You Bucky Steve and Clint sat down nearby with the TV on as Tony puttered around the kitchen.

 

“How do you make toast?”

 

“With bread- oh dear God.” Finally, Nat the Cat took pity on him and went over to help.

 

 

“Look at me, straight thuggin.” You said as you draped your arms around the three guys.

 

“That’s right.” Bucky nudged you, smirking. “How has it been one whole year since you’ve had sex?”

 

“Eh.” You shrugged. “Just waiting for the right guy, I guess.”

 

“Mhm. Like Clint?” He wiggled his eyebrows and you shoved him.

 

“No. Well, maybe. Who knows?”

 

Clint coughed awkwardly next to you and you rushed to assure him. “The other one. The one we met today. Not you. Sheesh.” You patted his back firmly before turning back to Steve and Bucky.

 

“What’s he like?” Steve asked nicely. He was such a sweetheart.

 

“Well I don’t know much about him. He’s hot, he’s a jazz singer, and he bought me a smoothie.”

 

“Jazz?!” Clint fell off the couch laughing.

 

“What?! Jazz is nice. It’s cultured, unlike you.” You gave him an annoyed glance.

 

“Yeah, right. Freebirdddd.”

 

“Jazz is cool,” Bucky commented. “He’s not gay though, right?”

 

“Yes Bucky, he’s gay. That’s why he’s taking me out tonight.”

 

“Well you can be pretty unfeminine.”

 

“Shut up Clint!” You were getting frustrated.

 

“Hey hey, easy,” Bucky warned, putting his arm around you. “You don’t want to set our vampire off, now, do you?”

 

“I don’t drink blood, Bucks.”

 

“But it’s your superpower. It’s basically the same thing.”

 

“Fine, if I get Ian Somerhalder I’m in.”

 

“Really? I pegged you as a Stefan type.”

 

“I do love Stefan but Damon is just so devilishly…devilish.”

 

“Vampires are lame,” Clint added from his spot on the floor.

 

You pretended to stomp on him.

 

“Actually I’ve met a few that are pretty interesting.” Loki appeared sitting against the lounge chair nearby.

 

“No way! Seriously?” You ran over and plopped down next to you. He gave you a mild glare, which you took as an okay.

 

“Yes; and the whole garlic idea is Midguard foolery.”

 

“Are they pretty?”

 

“Define pretty?”

 

“Hot. Gorgeous. Beautiful.”

 

“I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

 

“Is that so?” You sidled up to him and poked him in the side. “So, how do you behold me then?”

 

You heard muffled laughter which you took as Tony’s. “Right now? As the interrupter of my reading.”

 

“Aww come on.” You tapped his shoulder lightly. “Don’t tell me that kiss meant nothing to you.”

 

“Alright, I won’t tell you anything.”

 

“Don’t be like that, Loki!” You teased. You were probably the one who could get away with jerking him around the most. Except maybe for Bruce. Except Bruce never jerked anyone around. Except Maybe himself.

 

“Be like what, exactly?”

 

“Come onnn.” You said leaning forward. “Tell me you love meee.”

 

“You are insufferable.”

 

“And I love you too Reindeer Games.” He gave you a scowl as you walked back to your spot on the couch.

 

“See, he loves me.”

 

“Yup, definitely.” Bucky agreed, and you guys both grinned.

 

“Hey, so did you tell your boy toy that you live at Stark Tower?”

 

“He’s not my boy toy Tony! And no I didn’t. I figured I’d save that for the second date.”

 

“You know, the whole first date thing never appealed to me. Why wait til the third date to get to the fun stuff? The sooner the better!”

 

“And this is why Pepper isn’t speaking to you.”

 

 

“So how are you getting there then?” Steve asked attentively.

 

“Well I figured I’d wait at a local coffee shop and he could take me from there to the restaurant.”

 

“Yeah right. Like you could make it out the lobby with those freakishly high heels of yours.”

 

“Hey, I walk in those just fine.”

 

“Right, like last year’s Christmas party, where everyone thought you were drunk because you couldn’t move more than three steps without falling.”

 

“Hey, I never get to wear heels okay? It’s not like they’re practical for missions.”

 

“Or life in general.”

 

“Shut up Clint!” He was actually getting on your nerves now. You kind of wanted to get away already.

 

“If I remember correctly, you did meet a nice man who helped you up, right?” Steve, ever the optimist piped up.

 

“Oh that’s right.” You smiled nostalgically, feeling better already. “Yeah. That was nice.”

 

“Ohhh is that the one year ago experience?” Bucky winked obnoxiously.

 

“Yup!”

 

“One night stand? Sexy.”

 

“Not really, Tony.”

 

“So you guys are still in touch.”

 

“Well…”

 

“You naughty slut!” You stuck your tongue out at the playboy but he just grinned back at you. “I’m proud of you (y/n). I’m rubbing off on you.”

 

“Are not!”

 

“Am too!”

 

“Tony, pay attention!” Nat the Cat commanded as Tony obediently turned back to watch the noodles boil.

 

“Are you going to get ready soon, (y/n).”

 

“Yeah Nat. Hey can I borrow your dress?”

 

“Which one?”

 

“The sexy one with the zipper.”

 

“That’s like every dress she owns.” Clint quipped. “Every dress with a zipper.”

 

You rolled your eyes, annoyed. “The one with the zipper in the front.”

 

“What? She has a dress that’s backwards?”

 

“Ignore him.” Nat said pointedly, knowing you. “Yes you can.”

 

“Thanks.” You hopped off the couch and headed to her room.

 

“Hey can I watch?”

 

“Fuck off Bucky!”

 

“Love you too babe!”

 

 

Later, when you were trying on different lipstick colors, Bucky walked in.

 

“Too late Bucks. You missed the show.”

 

He laughed. “Too bad.”

 

“What’s up?”

 

He shrugged. As you contemplated a coral, he plopped down on your bed and looked around. “An eeyore poster? Really?”

 

“Hey! He’s the perfect friend. Loyal, smart, and just needs a hug.”

 

“So you like emo guys then. Figures you’d pick a musician.”

 

You threw your hairbrush at him and he caught it easily, twirling it between his fingers.

 

“About Clint…”

 

“It’s just one date, Bucky.”

 

“Not that.”

 

“Then what?”

 

“Our Clint.”

 

“Oh.” You turned around with a compact. “Pink or red?”

 

“Don’t avoid the question, (y/n).”

 

“You didn’t ask anything.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“Hey, I’m single, he’s single. I can date, he can date.”

 

“Yeah, but are you okay with it?”

 

“I mean, I haven’t been on a date in a while, but I think I’ll be fine.”

 

He patted the spot next to him on your bed, so you joined him.

 

“Are you sure you’re not going out with this guy just because they have the same name?”

 

You headbutted him lightly in the chest.

 

“Okay okay, I kid.” He laughed and pulled you into a side hug. “You know, you still have a shot.”

 

“Hah. Good one.” You rolled your eyes at the lame pun.

 

“That wasn’t supposed to be a joke. And I’m serious.”

 

“Bucky, we went shopping to buy Nat a swimsuit. And why should I wait forever for him to grow a pair when there’s a perfectly nice guy who’s already asked me out.”

 

“You don’t know he’s nice.”

 

“I know he likes me.”

 

Bucky shook his head. “Maybe you just need to give Barton a chance.”

 

“He’s had chances. We live together!”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to do that after you start dating?”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

Bucky kept up. “What if he doesn’t know how you feel about him?”

 

“Bucky.” You looked him the eyes. “Everyone knows.”

 

“Not everyone.”

 

“Everyone except Tony. And Thor. Heck, Loki probably knows too.”

 

“What was that about him kissing you anyway?”

 

“Ugh, long story. I don’t feel like getting into it now.”

 

Bucky relented. “Okay. You’re right. It’s just one date. But if he doesn’t treat you right, I’m going to hammer his head into the ground.”

 

“You’ll have to wait your turn, Bucky. I’d have his ass below ground by then.”

 

“That’s my girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is a flirt. You like it. YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT.
> 
> just a heads up, the pot is just beginning to heat up. it's about to get spicy in heah... 
> 
> this is actually half of the chapter i finished, but since there's a very large climax (quit laughing Tony) i figured i'd split it up. I'll probably post the other half later today. if i get enough love.
> 
> Random ramblings:  
> i don't know why i write Bucky like a mix of Steve and Tony. It works though. With a side of Clint. I try to make them all distinct.  
> Thor seems to be taking a back seat this fic. Sorry Pharm ;) in my defense, i'm still getting used to adding Bucky, and i think all the buckyfunness is making up for it. if not... too bad :P
> 
> How many of you guessed that the swimsuit was actually for lovely? 
> 
> also, how was the mysterious one-nighter that lovely enjoyed?! certainly some fun indiscretions to be sure ;D
> 
> I really like zippered dresses. Like when there's a hugeass zipper on the front that ruches the dress all scrunchy and pretty. 
> 
> Clint is an ass. But i also like his ass. So there.
> 
> Why does Loki always end up thirdwheeling/stealing lovely away? even i don't know. the words just flow from the pen. or keys.
> 
> quick poll: Clint or Loki? (from earlier)
> 
> quick poll 2: Damon or Stefan?? (I watched backasswards from Season 4 to 1 so I'm team Damon all the way. Although i can see why people love Stef. Actually, screw that. I'm team Klaus all the way. I haven't watched season 5 yet so NO SPOILERS.)
> 
> XOXO lovelies! gimme a shout out if you liked!


	4. Spagetti A Room... Or don't?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the heat is getting too high for you get out of the oven... pot?
> 
> Cooking adventures with Tony... who has nothing to do with this chapter
> 
> Read on my darling lovelies... and gimme some love! =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should get a prize for all my punnyness
> 
> quick poll: bucky or steve?
> 
> (oops starting my polls early)
> 
> this chapter is fun. lots of fun. you know who else is lots of fun?
> 
> read below and find out ;)

 

Back in the kitchen, Nat and Tony were working on the sauce. Well Nat was working on the sauce and Tony was trying hard to pay attention to her instructions. Somewhere between basil and thyme though his phone started ringing.

 

“Hello? Oh hey baby.” His voice got all sweet. “Yes, I know. Yes. Yes. I know. But I have a surprise for you.”

 

Nat snorted beside him. He put one finger to his ear and started walking out of the room, shooting everyone dirty looks. “That’s right. Uh huh.”

 

“Look, Clint.” Steve spoke after Tony had gone into another bedroom nearby.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re going to have to do something about (y/n).”

 

“What’s it to you Capsicle.” Clint scowled. “I don’t instruct you on your love life.”

 

“That’s because he doesn’t have one,” Nat the Cat called over her shoulder.

 

“You’re right. But we all know how much you care about (y/n).”

 

“So?”

 

Nat the Cat shook her head. “Don’t bother, Steve. If he won’t step up, then he doesn’t deserve (y/n).”

 

“Hey!” Clint grumbled. “It’s easy for you guys to talk. You’re not the one who almost got killed the last time we sparred.”

 

“You didn’t spar Clint, you shot her while she was meditating. And then tried to shoot her again. Multiple times.”

 

“Same thing.”

 

Nat turned back to the sauce and sighed.

 

“Come on, man.” Bucky walked in and peered over Nat’s shoulder. She blocked him, warning, “Don’t touch or I’ll kick you.”

 

“Don’t start with me Fogey.”

 

“I’m just saying, Loki’s gotten farther with her than you have.”

 

“That’s not even a fair argument!” Clint was getting mad.

 

 

Across the room, Loki snickered.

 

“What’s so funny Frosty?”

 

“Nothing, really.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Although it is pathetic that you’ve been pining over her for ages and have done absolutely nothing about it.”

 

“Keep out of it!!”

 

“As you wish.” He turned back to his reading.

 

“Wait a minute.” Clint stood up with his arms crossed. “If you’ve known how I felt about (y/n), why the hell would you kiss her?!”

 

“We were all there, Clint.” Steve pulled him back and sat him down. “It had to be done.”

 

“Although…” Bucky said offhandedly.

 

“Although what?” Clint questioned while Steve made a face at Bucky telling him to cut it out.

 

“I have to wonder how Loki found out the secret cure in the first place.” He smiled smugly as Steve covered his face.

 

“That’s right!” Clint stood up again and stalked over. “How exactly did that happen?!”

 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Loki responded, bored.

 

“Yeah? Well I’m making it my business!”

 

“Sit down, archer, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

 

Clint looked like he was going to raise his fist when you walked in.

 

“Hey guys, how do I look?”

 

“Whoo!” Tony cheered. “Go get some, girl!” You stuck your tongue out at him before grinning.

 

“You look nice, (y/n).”

 

“Thanks Steve.”

 

“Hey, if Clint won’t take you home, I’ll finish the job when you come back.”

 

“You’re full of it Bucky!” The two of you laughed as Nat leaned over to put an arm around your shoulder. “You’ll knock ‘em dead, (y/n).”

 

“Thanks Nat.” You leaned your head against hers. “Thanks again for letting me borrow your dress.”

 

“Sure.”

 

You turned to see Clint hovering over Loki, staring at you.

 

“What?!”

 

He looked at you strangely for a while. Finally he spoke. “So that’s what they mean by a zipper in front of the dress.” The black dress had a large gold zipper down the front, creating some love ruches all along the length.

 

“Yeah.” You took a few steps forward before flailing wildly. “Oh no!”

 

“What did I tell you?” Clint quipped as you reached for the wall. Tony turned to throw his hand out to catch you but it was too late.

 

A second later, your head bumped against something hard. “Ow!” You looked around as the rest of your body was still diagonal. “Huh?”

 

“You’re quite clumsy.” You looked up and saw the God of Lies peering down at you disapprovingly. Nonetheless, you beamed at him.

 

“Thanks Loki.”

 

He straightened you up, before teleporting back to his seat.

 

“Okay, how exactly are you going to go on a date in those shoes?”

 

“Well... carefully?” Tony shook his head as you gingerly stepped along the tile towards the elevator.

 

“Why don’t you just wear normal shoes?”

 

“Because, Clint, I never get to wear these!”

 

“Because you’d die in mere seconds!”

 

“Look, these heels make me look hot, okay?”

 

“Is looking hot worth breaking your knee?”

 

“No. But it is worth twisting your ankle.”

 

“Wha- are you speaking from experience?”

 

“Maybe.” Nat let out a laugh from the stove.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

 

“I’m completely serious Barton.”

 

He opened his mouth to retort right as you slipped again.

 

“Shit!”

 

He rushed forward to try to catch you, but once again was too late.

 

“I have to agree with the archer. Those shoes are completely impractical.” Loki’s silky voice was right behind your ear.

 

“Well then, I’ll just have to hope Prince Charming has good reflexes, now don’t I?” You and Loki shared a smile before you continued the suddenly very long trek to the elevator.

 

“You’re insane.”

 

“Whatever Bird Boy.” You were almost able to reach the down button when you slipped.

 

“FUCK!” You hit your knee hard as you landed on the ground. In a moment, Loki was at your side.

 

“Sorry, love. Didn’t think you would slip so fast again.”

 

Tony and Bucky looked at each other and mouthed, “love?”

 

“I didn’t.” You turned and glared at Clint. “He tripped me.”

 

“I did not.” Clint glared right back at you.

 

“Yes, you did! I felt your stupid boot on my ankle.”

 

“You’re being ridiculous.”

 

Across the room, Nat sighed exasperatedly.

 

“Why are you being such a jerk, Clint?!”

 

“I’m not! You’re the one being a bitch!”

 

The two of you stared at each other furiously until Steve cleared his throat.

 

“I’m sure it was an accident, (y/n).” He was between you now, ever the peacemaker. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you downstairs so you don’t fall again.”

 

You huffed angrily with your hands on your hips.

 

“No need, Captain, I’ll take care of this.” Loki put his arm around your waist as your anger slowly diminished.

 

“Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” You looked up at him and a tiny smile graced his lips, before he turned towards the elevator.

 

“Now, where was this man picking you up again?”

 

“The coffee place down the street.”

 

“Well then, shall we?” With that, the two of you disappeared.

 

“What was that all about?” Tony looked at Clint, who was still pissed.

 

“Whatever. Fuck!” Clint headed up the vents and was gone.

 

“Did Clint really trip (y/n)?” Steve turned wide-eyed to your friends.

 

“Not sure,” Tony confessed. “I was paying attention to the sauce.”

 

“Bullshit. You were checking out my ass.”

 

“Nu uh.”

 

“Don’t make me hit you with this wooden spoon.”

 

“Ooh, schoolteacher. Punish me-SHIT! NOT WITH THE SAUCE!”

 

Bucky sighed. “It kind of looked like it. I can’t be sure though.”

 

Thor walked in. “Why are you covered with red, Brother Tony?”

 

“Natasha threw sauce at me!”

 

“Don’t ask, Thor.”

 

Thor nodded understandingly, before heading over to Clint and Steve. “Did I hear (y/n) shouting earlier?”

 

“Yep. You missed all the fun.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Well, long story short, (y/n)’s going on a date with this guy, and Clint acted like an ass.”

 

Thor looked bewildered. “I thought (y/n) and Clint were going on the date?”

 

Nat sighed. “The guy (y/n)’s seeing is also named Clint.”

 

“Ahh, that explains it.” He considered a moment before continuing. “So Brother Clint has not revealed his feelings to Lady (y/n) yet?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Well I should hope he does it soon. I have a feeling that my brother may complicate the situation.”

 

“How?!”

 

“I do not know for sure, I just have a feeling.”

 

Bucky turned to his bestie. “That’s true. He did call her love earlier.”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“Oh hey Bruce.”

 

He blinked slowly before heading to the pantry. “So your creepy brother is into (y/n)?”

 

“It’s only speculation at this time.”

 

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Tony added. “They did kiss after all.”

 

“Yeah but that was just to break the spell right?”

 

“True. But do you know how Loki figured that out in the first place?”

 

Bruce tilted his head in thought. “You’re right.” He pulled out a box of cereal, before looking at the expiration date and putting it back “Well, shit.”

 

“What’s going on in here?”

 

“Pepper?! Oh hey…”

 

Bruce quickly retreated with coffee pot in hand.

 

 

By the coffee shop down the street, Loki was helping you walk to a nearby bench. More accurately, he was helping you stumble.

 

“You Midguardian women and your vanity.”

 

“It’s not about vanity! It’s about impressing my date. And looking hot.”

 

“I rest my case.” He had an arm around your waist and you were clutching his arm, teetering. “Although aren’t you worried your new mate will see us together and get the wrong impression?”

 

“He’s not my mate Loki! He’s just a friend. For now.”

 

“I don’t see you strutting about the tower in those constricting shoes.”

 

You poked him in the side and he let go of you for a second in response.

 

“Augh!” You waved your arms wildly before he casually steadied your shoulders again. “Jerk.”

 

“Don’t forget (y/n), I can leave you here anytime.”

 

“Fine then.” You crossed your eyes at him and he snorted. The two of you finally reached the bench and you plopped down, exhausted.

 

“Well I’m off then.”

 

“Wait!” You pulled his arm so he would sit down next to you. “Can’t you stay here until he arrives?”

 

“Wouldn’t that give him the wrong impression?”

 

“We’ll just pretend you’re a friendly stranger who’s also waiting for the bus.” He rolled his eyes in response. “Besides, we can always just have you wipe his memory a bit if things get… complicated.”

 

“Why (y/n), that would be incredibly dishonest of you.”

 

“I know, are you proud of me?” You winked at him and he smirked.

 

“So I’m guessing this arrangement you have today is to make Barton jealous.”

 

“Not really.” You sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“As you wish.” He folded his arms and you sat in silence for a moment.

 

“Although…” He grinned smugly, knowing you would start talking as soon as you stopped. “Do you know why he tripped me? It was a really dick move.”

 

“What makes you think he tripped you?”

 

“I swear I felt his boot hit my ankle!”

 

“Fair enough.” Loki leaned against the backrest with his hands behind his head. You loved when he did that; he looked so effortlessly sexy.

 

“Why, did you see anything?”

 

“I have better things to do then watch you engage in coquettish behavior with the man.”

 

“Now, Loki, be careful. You’re starting to sound jealous.” He stood up to leave in response. “Oh come on, it was just a joke.”

 

“If I remember correctly, it wasn’t so funny last… December was it?”

 

You grinned at the thought. “Funny wouldn’t be the word I’d use to describe it, no. Remind me why it didn’t work out again?”

 

“We agreed it was best as a one time experience, no?”

 

“I guess you’re right.” You elbowed him conspiratorially. “Although I’m sure you’d be more than happy to oblige in case I have another… incident.”

 

“Don’t be too sure of that.” He lifted his nose in the air but you could see the small glint in his eyes. “So when is your beau going to pick you up?”

 

“Hmm he should have been here ten minutes ago.” You checked your phone before groaning. “God damn it!”

 

“What?”

 

“He got into an accident. We’re going to have to reschedule.”

 

“You Midguards and your unreliable transportation.”

 

“Not all of us get to ride Aliens, Reindeer Games.”

 

“I suppose you’ll have to walk back by yourself then.” He disappeared as you opened your mouth to reply.

 

“Hey! Get back here!” A couple passer-byers gave you a weird look. Right. You were yelling at thin air. You groaned, rising from the bench shakily. Ass.

 

 

You looked across the street at the Tower. So close, and yet… The crosswalk was right across four lanes of busy traffic. Busy New York traffic. You cursed under your breath as you made your wobbly way towards the edge of the street. Great, just great. There was no traffic light, just some yellow blinking signs warning cars of your presence. Meaning you were at the mercy of the gracious city drivers. Shit.

 

You were contemplating suicide when you heard a snicker around you. “What’s the matter? Sinatra stood you up?” What the- you looked up and saw Clint chilling on top of a street lamp.

 

“Seriously Big Bird?! You’re stalking me?!”

 

“Heh. Don’t flatter yourself.” He scoffed. “I’m always on the lookout for new vantage points.”

 

“For what exactly? Bird-watching?!”

 

“Hey, I’m an assassin. It’s what I do.”

 

“Watch birds?!”

 

“Find good observational spots.” He chuckled to himself as he watched you place one foot slowly in front of another.

 

“Well, good for you.” You scowled as you peered through the dim lanes. Maybe if you…nah. This wasn’t going to work. You sighed heavily before reaching down. You hated the idea of walking barefoot outside, especially on the dirty city streets, but at this point it was either that or stay here and be badgered to death.

 

“You know you’re going to step on glass and get AIDS,” Clint offered helpfully as you leaned down to undo the straps on one heel. You ignored him pointedly.

 

“Hey, how’d you get up there?”

 

“Magic.” He answered smugly, seemingly enjoying your struggle.

 

Bastard. He probably had a grappling hook with him. Not that you were going to ask him for help. You’d had enough of that dick for a day.

 

You were working on your left foot when a pair of black slacks appeared in front of your face. You smiled.

 

“I knew you’d come back for me.”

 

“Really.” Loki raised an eyebrow at you on your haunches fiddling with your shoes.

 

You stuck your tongue out at him. “You wouldn’t seriously make me walk across this chaos without shoes, would you?!”

 

“It was a tempting thought, yes.” Loki answered sardonically before sticking his hand out and hoisting you up. He had a conceited look as usual, but you knew he had a soft spot for you.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Thanks.” You leaned your head on his chest lightly as he rolled his eyes. “For being my Prince Charming.”

 

“Oh no, not that fairytale drivel.”

 

“Hey it’s better than being compared to a snowman right?”

 

“On second thought I think I hear Thor calling me.”

 

“Bullshit. Like you would leave me for your biggest rival.”

 

“With a mouth like yours I just might.”

 

“That’s not what you said last time.” He glared at you, but you could tell he was joking.

 

“Alright, lets get you home before I change my mind.” He put a hand on your arm but you stopped him.

 

“Wait.”

 

“What is it now?!”

 

“Carry me the old-fashioned way?”

 

“The what?!”

 

“You know.” You attempted to jump up and have him lift you bridal style, which he did not. You landed on one foot, which folded painfully beneath you. “Shit!”

 

“I’m not sure you should be performing acrobatics in your current garb.”

 

“Loki!!” You glowered at him. “You were supposed to catch me.”

 

“So that’s what that was all about.” You huffed angrily as you hopped on one foot, testing the other. Shit. It was definitely sprained.

 

“Now look what you’ve done!”

 

Loki gave you a bored look. “I did nothing.”

 

“Exactly!” You heard a snort and remembered Clint was watching you like a creep. “Shut up Barton!”

 

He smiled enigmatically at you, before returning to scanning the city. Freak.

 

You cursed. This day was turning into a bust. A bigass bust.

 

Loki exhaled aggravatedly, and you considered throwing yourself into the traffic again. “You are impossible,” he criticized, before picking you up with an arm around your shoulders and one under you knee.

 

You smiled happily. “Thanks, Loki.” He muttered with annoyance in response, as he stepped into the traffic confidently. Amid the cacophony of horns and angry cussing you nestled your head under his neck and hummed. And with the city noises in the background you saw the corner of his lips grace his face with a tiny smile.

 

 

Above the streets, Clint glared at the two of you, cursing repeatedly. That bastard. He wasn’t even interested in you; he was just playing you ‘cause he was bored. Angrily, he punched the halogen lamp, accidentally shattering the bulb. Damn. He swooped out of sight as pedestrians looked up from the shattered glass in confusion.

 

 

“Back so soon?” Steve asked worriedly as Loki walked in and dropped you onto a sofa. “What happened? Did you get hurt?”

 

“Nah. Well kind of. But I’m back ‘cause Clint got into an accident.”

 

“I’m sureeee,” Bucky drawled as you flipped him off.

 

“It’s okay (y/n), getting stood up is no big deal. There are, as you say, plenty more fish in the ocean!” Thor added helpfully with a mouthful of Pop-Tarts.

 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what happened,” Steve consoled as he walked over to check on you. You were flexing your foot tentatively, wincing every few seconds.

 

“More likely our little Miss Vampire bit him and scared him away.” Bucky winked and you groaned, unable to hold in your smile.

 

“Better quit before I bite you too!”

 

“Ooh kinky!” Bucky got up for another sandwich and bared his teeth at you.

 

“Well, did you at least meet someone while twisting your ankle this time?” Nat the Cat joked as she came over to join you.

 

“As a matter of fact…” you looked around to see if Loki was still in the room. He was gone. “Maybe I did. Again.” The two of you shared a secretive look .

 

“So where’s Tony?”

 

“He and Pepper went to another floor for their romantic makeup dinner.”

 

“I’m suree that’s all it’s about.” Bucky snickered as Steve blushed at your comment.

 

“Anyone seen Legolas?”

 

You sulked loudly.

 

“Still mad at him for tripping you?”

 

“I don’t think he would do that, (y/n),” Steve consoled as he put his hand on your arm.

 

“It’s not that.” You crossed your arms and glowered.

 

“What is it then?”

 

“He was spying on me and Loki.”

 

“Spying?” Steve looked confused.

 

“You and Loki?!” Thor looked up worriedly.

 

“Yeah. I asked him to wait with me at the bus stop. After he left me stranded there-“

 

“Stranded?”

 

“Well to walk back on my own.”

 

“Ah.” Nat nodded sarcastically as you shot her a look.

 

“Anyway, after he left me stranded, Clint started making fun of me from a street lamp above us.”

 

“What a weirdo.”

 

“Sounds like Clint, alright.”

 

“Anyway, I’m so tired of his crap. I’m going to bed.” You got up, cringing as you started hobbling away.

 

“(Y/n), it’s not even ten. You know you’re a night owl.”

 

“Fine. I’ll go to Loki’s then.” You stomped out as best you could as a cripple.

 

Thor looked around. “My brother?!”

 

“Oh geez.” Bucky punched Steve’s arm. “We’re in trouble.”

 

“What?”

 

“Loki’s getting in on the action.”

 

“Please do not speak of my brother and Lady (y/n) in such vulgar terms.”

 

“Sorry man, but I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on. Right Tasha?”

 

“No comment.” Nat the Cat stretched languidly and headed towards the elevator. “I’m gonna go work out.”

 

“In that case I’m coming!” Bucky called, winking at her suggestively. Steve and Nat rolled their eyes at the same time.

 

“I suppose it is just you and me now Brother Steve. I suggest we continue our competition of the Mario Karts.”

 

“Sure, Thor.”

 

 

 

“Ugh.”

 

You heaved a big sigh as you hobbled in the direction of Loki’s room. “Don’t even think about it.”

 

“I wasn’t doing shit.” Clint snapped from above you.

 

“Whatever.” You ignored him and continued down the hallway.

 

“What’s the matter? Getting your kicks elsewhere?”

 

“What’s it to you Feather Face?”

 

“You know the last time someone slept with Loki there was an eight legged horse involved right?”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Gladly.” Clint swung back up into the vents and crawled away as you clenched your fists tightly. What was his fucking problem today?!

 

 

 

“You know I’m not your fuck buddy, right?”

 

You looked to your left and saw Loki leaning against the wall with one foot tucked behind the other, amused. “Well look at you, learning our Earthly slang.”

 

“I suppose the billionaire must be rubbing off on me.” You offered him a grimace as you leaned against the wall yourself, tired.

 

“Not now, Loki. I have enough to deal with from Barton.”

 

“As you wish.” He started walking off without another glance.

 

“Wait.”

 

“What?”

 

You gave him a strange look before asking, “So is the deal off?”

 

“I don’t remember it ever being on, darling?”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Okay then.” Welp today was a waste. As you hopped off on one foot, you began unzipping your dress. From the front.

 

“Woah there.” Bucky who was across the hall happened to turn at the wrong time. Or the right time.

 

“Not now, Bucks.” You were officially done with anyone with a penis for today.

 

“Then when?” He gave you such a cheeky grin that you couldn’t stay mad at him.

 

“I just wanna be alone now.”

 

“Right, that’s why you were heading up to the old Prince’s room.”

 

“Change of plans.”

 

“Good thing. He’s like a thousand years older than you right?”

 

You smirked despite yourself. “Sure doesn’t act like it.”

 

“Ew.” Nat the Cat called from somewhere behind him.

 

“Okay. Night everyone.” You banged open one of the many random bedrooms Tony had around the tower and slammed the door. Why did he have so many damn rooms anyway? Or floors for that matter? Talk about excessive.

 

 

“Did you mean what you said earlier?”

 

You jumped and raised your hand as warning.

 

“Relax, (y/n). Don’t you think you’ve had enough excitement for today?”

 

You clapped the lights on with a mental eyeroll to Tony and saw the handsome God of Mischief sitting on the bed.

 

“Right. Excitement. Whoopee.” You slid down the wall and sat down heavily on the floor.

 

“Or jumping at the very least.” He smirked and you couldn’t resist a tiny smile from forming. “That’s my girl.”

 

“I’m not your girl”

 

“Or anyone’s at the moment.”

 

“I think you’ve made it quite clear at this point Loki.”

 

He leaned forward across from you and looked at you thoughtfully. “I am known as the God of lies, though.”

 

You rested your head against the wall with a bitter laugh. “Is that an invitation?”

 

“I prefer suggestion.”

 

You shook your head with a dry smile. “I’ve had enough letdowns today, my man.”

 

“Perhaps I still have time to redeem it before midnight.” You quirked your lips at him, but made no movements.

 

“Come now dear. I’m sure I have something that can cheer you up. At least I thought it might from your indications earlier.”

 

“Well, that was earlier.”

 

“And yet here we are now.” You crossed your arms as you regarded him. You could definitely use a pick-me-up. And Clint wasn’t on hand at this point. And the other Clint… you practically snarled out loud as you thought about him.

 

“Now now, it’s not polite to be having sexual relations with one man while having thoughts about another.”

 

“I don’t remember anything being polite last time Loki.”

 

He let out a laugh and motioned you towards him.

 

Ah, what the hell. You got up and sat down next to him, and he wrapped his arms around you, scooting you back. “I’m not really in the mood, Loki.”

 

“Then why are you on the bed with me, (y/n)?”

 

“Slow learner?” you deadpanned and he tilted his head back laughing. “Let’s just sleep this time, Loki.”

 

“Now what’s the fun in that?”

 

“Cuddling?”

 

“You are aware that men hate that right?”

 

“You didn’t seem to mind so much last time.” Loki gave you a look but settled down against the pillows with you anyway. “Remind me why it didn’t work?”

 

“You didn’t want it to, (y/n). You had your eyes on someone else.”

 

“Hah. What’s new?”

 

“Well you’ve met another one with the same name, if that’s any consolation.”

 

“One thing’s for sure.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re an ass.”

 

“I can still leave any moment and leave you here all alone (y/n). You do realize that right?”

 

“And yet here we are.” He smiled at your use of his own words against him. “Now let’s stop talking and start hugging.”

 

“You are something else (y/n)?”

 

“And what exactly is that?”

 

“I’ll leave it to you to figure that out.” You nudged him with your shoulder but he ignored it and relaxed onto the mattress.

 

“Loki?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“If we’re going to sleep together can you not face the other way? It’s kind of weird.”

 

“What’s the matter? I thought you liked looking at my back.”

 

“Well- hey, have you been eavesdropping on me and Nat?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

You let out a huge sigh as you tried to pull him to face you. No such luck.

 

“You suck.” He merely sniffed in response as you turned the other way and pulled the blankets over. What a day.

 

You stuffed your head under your pillow as you tried not to bawl in frustration. You hated crying. It’s just everything was just… sucking. Clint was being a total dick, your date was an utter failure, you hurt your leg, and now even Loki wasn’t interested. Were you just ugly or unlucky?

 

You felt a cool hand on your neck and a silky voice murmur your name. This guy…

 

“Come now, I was only teasing.”

 

“Jerk.” He merely chuckled and put one arm around you, pulling you against him. “I may like a bit of a fuss, but making a pretty girl cry is below me.”

 

“I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder.”

 

“Well then, that’s how I behold you isn’t it.” You sniffled before wiping your eyes quickly. He let out an exasperated breath, but held you close.

 

“Don’t play me, Frosty. I’m not in the mood today.”

 

“You’re not in the mood for a lot of things aren’t you?” You were about to yell at him but you saw his teasing face.

 

“Shut up and just hold me, okay?”

 

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MUAHAHAHA WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? LOKI ENDS UP STEALING LOVELY AWAY. as usual. but he seems to be the James Marsden of my fics... sexy man who doesn't end up with the girl...  
> boo....
> 
> random ramblings;
> 
> quick poll: wolverine or scotty? (HINT: JAMES MARSDEN)  
> this shouldn't even be a question but i was probably dropped on my head as a kid and i like scotty better. maybe because everyone is obsessed with hugh jackman and i don't like being obsessed with whoever everyone else already is obsessed with... although it's probably borne out of my original love for james marsden... which promptly ended when he hit midlife crisis and left his wife and 2 kids and accidentally knocked up a girl in a one night stand... what does this have to do with the fic... absofuckinglutely nothing! if you're new here i'll direct you to the comment button down below. otherwise, continue reading for amusement and hilarity!!
> 
> Bruce always comes in at the wrong time *cuddles Brucie*
> 
> accidentally got rid of New Clint- i can't help it!! everyone else has a big enough personality to write- i'm already holding off on Thor- luckily he has his Poptarts to keep him company... and Pharm... ;)
> 
> Clint is an ass. luckily he also has a nice ass. or else we would be finished now and you and Loki would be doing more than cuddling... will you end up doing that anyway??!! who knows... leave me a comment and you just might find out ;)
> 
> everyone is mean to you. everyone who wants to fuck you that is... tsk tsk
> 
> whats with all the inside jokes with Loki... and Nat for that matter? Speculate, lovelies. speculate.
> 
> quick poll 2 (3?)- fuck buddies with Loki or celibate til Clint?  
> oh god even i don't know how to answer that one


	5. All this Trouble over a suit? Better suit up, Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE CLIMAX
> 
>  
> 
> OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
>  
> 
> shut up Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gimme some love, lovelies
> 
> i'm quite proud of this chapter
> 
> choreography is important to me. so are comments. so give me some. QUID PRO QUO! ;)
> 
> loki gets some time to shine. nomnom.

That bastard, Clint thought. He was sitting in a vent nearby listening to every word. Loki was a son of a bitch, and everyone knew it. So how in the heck did you end up falling for him? He was just going to use you and you wouldn’t even see it coming. Why were you so damn stupid? And naïve? He massaged his temples with his hands, trying to calm down. You were a big girl, or at least you liked to remind everyone. It was your own life, even if you were going to do stupid things.

 

He cursed himself mentally for not stepping up sooner. After your big fight and the whole blood thing, everything had gotten weird. Makes sense; having all your friends find out your disturbing secret probably took a toll on you. No wonder you were clinging to Thor’s lame little brother. He was the only person who knew about it, and understood it. Or at least pretended to. He probably just found you a fun little game to pass his time. Clint growled under his breath. He’d be damned if he let Loki get to you.

 

How come you didn’t just get it? He took you shopping, he saved you from that creepy jazz guy, and even watched over you when you ended up agreeing to a date with him anyway. And after everything he had done, you were totally ungrateful. You were acting like such a slut, sleeping with that alien. You never would have done this before.

 

He exhaled sharply, frustrated. How did things get so complicated? Seems like yesterday you guys were sparring in the vents, or well you were chasing him through the vents and working on your gymnastics. Now you couldn’t even be in the same room for 2 minutes without going for each other’s throats.

 

Still, when he saw Loki’s arm around you lazily, his stomach clenched and his heart felt heavy. He shouldn’t have tripped you. He just wanted to keep you from going on that stupid date. He had really bad vibes from that guy. And those shoes were totally dangerous for you anyway; he knew how crappy your balance was. Well, at least in heels. On rafters and beams was a different story. It wasn’t his fault that you fell forward instead of backward. He was all ready to catch you but you went the other way instead. He swore you did it on purpose just to piss him off. Or so that Loki could come to your rescue like some fucking hero. Why did you wear those ridiculous things anyway? You were already beautiful in your sneakers and tshirts. Isn’t that what Nat was always telling you? Why didn’t you just listen?

 

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard giggling below him. Oh no.

 

 

“Loki, you’re tickling me.”

 

“I most certainly am not.”

 

“Yes you are. You’re breathing on my ear.”

 

“Oh, well excuse me for requiring respiration to live.”

 

“Wait, aren’t you a god or something?”

 

“What of it?”

 

“Doesn’t that mean you’re like immortal?”

 

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

“So you don’t live forever?”

 

“Well I certainly still need to breathe.” You giggled again as you tilted your neck awkwardly so his breath wouldn’t reach you.

 

“You are certainly fickle my dear.”

 

“How so?!”

 

“First you want me to join you in bed, then you tell me to leave. Then, you get in bed with me but refuse to make love. Finally, you ask me to hold you while you rest, and proceed to complain about my breathing.”

 

“Well when you put it that way…”

 

“Anyway I put it, you don’t come out looking so good my dear.”

 

“I’m not your dear.”

 

“Oh? That’s now how I remember it?” It was your turn to laugh at him turning your words against you.

 

“Fair enough.” You scooted to a more comfortable position and laid back down. “Hey Loki.”

 

“What is it now?!”

 

“Don’t be such a jerk!”

 

“Oh honestly-“

 

“You know what I mean.” He growled slightly and you patted his arm. “It’s just kind of a shitty day for me.”

 

“I know the feeling.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Well I would if you’d stop engaging me in conversation.” You half wanted to rip his head off, but the other half was quite comfy in his “slim fit” arms.

 

“As I was saying…”

 

“Right. I’m riveted.”

 

“Can you help me out of this dress? It’s kind of uncomfortable.”

 

Loki smirked as he smoothed his hands over his arms. “Are you sure, (y/n)?”

 

“Of course I am!”

 

“Well I’m not sure I would be able to resist after that.”

 

“I believe in you.”

 

“Ah yes. Well being able to resist is one thing, and choosing to is another.” You smacked him playfully and he grabbed your hands in response.

 

“You know you’re perfectly able to sleep, and only sleep, with me in just my underwear.”

 

“Semantics, my dear. Able, want to, who knows.”

 

 

From above, Clint seethed, nearly biting his tongue off. That prick! He could not believe that you were going to let him sleep with you practically naked. He knew Loki was going to take advantage of you, and you were just too stupid to see it. No, it wasn’t all your fault. You were just an optimistic person in general; friendly and trusting. That’s why he had to watch out for you. First that other Clint guy, and now Loki. As far as he was concerned, Loki was far more dangerous. Time for some drastic action.

 

 

“Ahhh! OOF!”

 

“ACK!” You screamed as Clint landed right in your face.

 

“Oh wow! My bad!” Clint backed up slowly with his hands up. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. I just, uh, it seems like the floorboards from the level above are loose.”

 

“Are you serious?!” You were half furious, half scared to death.

 

Loki gave Clint a bored glance. “Well then, I suppose the Hawk has lost his wings.”

 

“Hah. Hah.” Clint shot daggers at him before turning to you. “Hey (y/n) can I borrow you for a sec?”

 

“Seriously?!” You gave him an incredulous look. “I’m a little busy here.”

 

“Yeah, sorry. I know you’re trying to sleep,” Clint offered, playing dumb. “It’s just about uh.. Nat’s present.”

 

“Can’t it wait til tomorrow?!”

 

“It’ll just take a sec.” He put his hands together in a begging motion and you flattened yourself against the bed in absolute frustration.

 

“Go ahead darling. I’ll be waiting when you get back,” Loki told you confidently. He knew how much that would bother Clint, and he was enjoying it very much.

 

“Ugh, alright.” You slowly rolled off the bed, wincing when you put weight on your other foot.

 

“Need me to carry you my dear?” You grinned at Loki’s snarky little comment. “I’ll be alright.”

 

“I’ll just keep the blankets warm for you then.” He batted one eye so smoothly it made a very subtle wink. You felt your knees go weak for a second, and practically swooned on the spot.

 

“Woah!” Clint rushed towards you and put an arm under your shoulders. “Careful. Your foot still needs some rest.”

 

“Oh. Well, thanks.” You looked taken aback as Clint helped you up and down the hall. He was being surprisingly decent considering everything that had happened.

 

 

“So, what’s up Chicken Butt?”

 

“Hah. Hah.”

 

“What was so important about the suit that you needed to pull me out of bed?”

 

“I’m just…” he put on a pensive face as he searched frantically for an excuse. “I want to make sure it’s perfect.”

 

“Now?!” Not only were you annoyed now, you were crushed. He was so obsessed about getting Nat the perfect swimsuit that he was dragging you out of bed, injured, to help him out. And honestly, after the way he acted today, he sure didn’t deserve anymore help.

 

“Yeah, uh… its uhh… a midnight swim.”

 

Classy. You tried hard not to tell him off or cry. Or both. You didn’t feel like getting into a fight now. Even if he was asking for it. You were just too damned tired.

 

“Okay, let’s just get this over with. I’m about to pass out.”

 

“Really?” He turned to you worriedly and searched your face. “Do you need some water? You do look a little dehydrated.”

 

You felt your heart lift a little and quickly shut yourself down. He was a jerk and you didn’t need to waste any feelings on him anymore. “Nah, I’m just tired.” You looked around for a second before turning around looking confused. “Uhh, Clint. The elevator’s that way.”

 

“Oh, right.” Clint fumbled for a bit. “It’s uh, broken.”

 

“Are you serious?!” Things just keep getting better. “Isn’t your room two floors up?!”

 

“Three.”

 

You almost sat down right then and there. “Clint. I’m tired. And my foot is killing me.”

 

“So?”

 

“So I’m not climbing three flights of stairs so I can check on your stupid gift for Nat!”

 

He looked offended and put the hand that wasn’t supporting you on his hip. “It’s not stupid! I worked hard to find it okay?”

 

“It’s stupid to ask me of all people to slave up those goddamn steps just so you don’t have to wait a few hours to give it to her.”

 

“What do you mean you of all people?!”

 

“I already went with you to buy it!”

 

“You were gone half the time!”

 

“Getting you a smoothie!”

 

“No, you were hitting on some guy!”

 

“We were having a friendly conversation! And what’s it to you anyway?”

 

“I’m the one who had to look for you anyway!”

 

“Because you forgot how to use a phone!”

 

The two of you were looking at each other, about to blow up.

 

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!” You heard a voice from a few doors down.

 

“…Tony?”

 

“No, it’s fucking Santa Claus. Yes it’s me. Can you guys just hurry up and fuck already?!”

 

You and Clint turned to each other, replacing your anger for a moment with bewilderment.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Whatever it is that’s going on, make it stop. Some of us are trying to have awesome sex here!”

 

“Tony!!!”

 

“What Pepper? You want to try that new position with them in the background-OW!”

 

You and Clint looked at each other, before bursting out in laughter. You sighed, before relenting. “Alright Clint. We’ll go look at the dumb suit. But after this, I go to bed okay?”

 

“Yes ma’am.” You forced yourself not to smile, but your heart didn’t listen and began beating faster anyway. Traitor. As you guys scooted past the door to the stairs, you looked up with dread. Three floors of steps just waiting to be tackled.

 

“You up to this?”

 

“No.” You scowled before stepping your good foot boldly onto the first step. “OW!”

 

“Careful!” Clint admonished as he followed you and stepped up, pulling you up with him. “How are you so clumsy?!”

 

“I am not!”

 

He stared pointedly at your foot. “Hey, you’re the one who tripped me.”

 

“I did not!”

 

“Yes you did! I. Saw. Your. Boot.”

 

“I’m not the only one who wears boots.”

 

“And there, you admitted it.”

 

“What are you talking about?!”

 

“No innocent party would be defending themselves with their shoe.”

 

“You’re insane.”

 

“No, you are. The fact that your excuse is “not everyone wears boots” when I clearly saw a boot is proof. Only the guilty party would argue about the shoe instead of the actual matter at hand.”

 

Clint cursed himself in his head. That was pretty stupid. “So what, you think you’re some mini Black Widow now?”

 

You gritted your teeth. “I am NOT like Nat.”

 

“Well thank God for that. We don’t need another you.”

 

You felt a stab in the chest when he said that. Did he have to make it so obvious?

 

“Fine. I’m lame. Nat is awesome. Okay? Now can we move on?”

 

“Gladly.” Clint huffed as he stepped ahead of you, annoyed. Unfortunately, he forgot he was supposed to be helping you up at that moment.

 

“Ahhh SHIT!” He turned as you fell backwards and hit your head on the railing. His mouth popped open and his heart fell towards his stomach. He couldn’t believe he accidentally dropped you.

 

“Motherfucker!” You touched the back of your head as your vision blurred.

 

“…” Clint felt like hitting himself as stared at you, frozen. His guilt doubled when you turned to him with wide eyes. You were so shocked you hadn’t processed your anger yet.

 

“Wow… such a klutz.” Clint tried to cover up with a joke, before realizing how douchey that was. His stomach hurt with remorse as he tried to laugh and cajole you into smiling.

 

You weren’t smiling anymore.

 

 

You were sitting awkwardly on your ass with your foot throbbing and your eyes were seeing black dots. You were on the verge of tears when you heard Clint call you a klutz. That was the last straw.

 

“You know what?” You stood up firmly, ignoring the shooting pain in your foot. He wasn’t glaring back at you or mocking you anymore, but you had had enough.

 

“I. Hate. You. Clint. Barton.” You walked towards the door as you rubbed the back of your head some more. Then you felt it. Wetness. You whirled around accusingly as you held your two fingers up at him. There was blood.

 

Clint felt like he was punched in the gut. He heard the blood rushing in his ears as he tried to process what happened. He had dropped you, made fun of you, and now he had seriously hurt you. He opened his mouth to try to apologize, but nothing came out. He couldn’t come up with the words to express how sorry he was. Or even how he felt. There were just too many emotions whirling around his head; disappointment, betrayal, jealousy, worry, shame, all because of one overlying feeling that wouldn’t stop. Love. He loved you. And as he stood towering over you with your ankle twisted and your fingers covered with blood, he could have sworn his heart burst right there on the spot.

 

But he had no words.

 

 

 

A single tear rolled down your face as he stared at you, dumbstruck. So this was it. After everything, he couldn’t even apologize. You couldn’t believe it. You just could not handle this. You had been friends for so long, you had longed for him, you had gone with him to buy a present for his crush despite how you felt about him, because of how you felt about him! And in his response, he had disrespected you, tripped you, and now you were bleeding from the head, crippled and he couldn’t even say he was sorry.

 

You felt the heat coursing through your veins, and this time, you didn’t hold it in. It was building up like a volcano, and for once, you weren’t going to hate yourself and feel humiliated about it. You took a breath and let your blood boil, feeling the power extend to your fingertips. For once, you weren’t going to feel like a freak. You were going to embrace your magic. And enjoy it.

 

 

You raised your palm as a last warning, but Clint continued to stare at you, like the monster you were.

 

“I. Hate. You.” And with that, you unleashed the first blast. It hit his feet as he sprang away from you, clearly horrified.

 

“After everything!!” He began running up the stairs as you let out another beam, grazing his shoulder.

 

“Augh!” He reached the next floor and slammed the door shut, locking it.

 

You weren’t going to let that stop you.

 

 

“Clint? What’s going on?!”

 

“It’s (y/n)! She’s-“

 

You ignored the rest as you climbed on top of the railings, crying out with pain as you leapt to catch a bar above you. You were always in your element on higher ground

 

 

“What. Have you done.” Nat the Cat stared Clint down as he waved his hands around frantically.

 

“She… she…”

 

“Don’t tell me she’s gone vamp mode.” Bucky stood up and flexed his metal fingers.

 

“It’s no joke, Bucky.” Steve walked over worriedly. “She’s stronger than she looks.”

 

“I don’t care how strong she is, I want to know what happened Barton. Right. Now.”

 

“I uh, well I was going to take her-“

 

“Short version!”

 

“I uh, dropped her down the stairs.”

 

“You WHAT?!”

 

“And then I might have made fun of her.”

 

Nat the Cat looked on the verge of finishing the job for you. “Why would you- you know what? We’ll deal with this later. Right now we gotta calm her down.”

 

“Okay Bucky, come with me.” Steve commanded as he motioned Bucky towards the elevator. “She’s going to want to get a good vantage point if she’s bent on hitting Clint.”

 

“Tasha, you stay with Bruce and keep him on track.”

 

“Done.”

 

“Where’s Thor?!”

 

“He went out for more Pop-Tarts.”

 

“Goddamnit!” Steve hardly cussed; this was serious. “Tony?”

 

“I wouldn’t recommend that sir.”

 

“Why, Jarvis?”

 

“You don’t want to know Master Steve.”

 

Steve sighed as the elevator door opened. “Okay fine. And you, Clint?”

 

Clint stood there looking lost and ashamed. “You get to be bait. Go to your favorite spot in the vents.”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Because she’ll look there first. Now, GO!” With that, the elevator doors slammed shut and Clint jumped into the vents sadly.

 

 

You were sitting on a pole patiently, swinging your legs as you kept an eye out for Clint. You knew he’d appear soon.

 

“Hey… (y/n).” Bingo.

 

“Look, I’m really sorry about what happened earlier.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“It was an accident.”

 

You didn’t bother to reply.

 

“I didn’t mean it.”

 

In response, you twirled your fingers in the air.

 

Clint hopped over a couple beams as he tried to get to the same height as you.

 

“I wouldn’t do that Barton.”

 

“Come on. Let’s just talk this out, like civilized people.”

 

“I’d stay down.”

 

“Well I’m coming up.”

 

“Suit yourself. But just so you know…” your fingernails started dripping as you narrowed your eyes at him. “The higher you climb…”

 

Five rays spun out as he did a flip backwards, dodging four. The fifth one hit the beam he was standing, splintering it.

 

“Augh!” He grabbed onto a nearby rafter as the beam broke into pieces, dropping below.

 

“The harder you fall.” You wiped your hand on your leg

 

 

“Please, (Y/n),” Clint begged. “It was an accident! You know I wouldn’t drop you.”

 

“Ahh but you did.” You stretched your fingers again as Clint settled into a more secure spot. “And you also tripped me.”

 

“Yeah well… it was for a good reason.” Even now, Clint was having trouble communicating. Lots of trouble.

 

“Hmm?” You snarled at him as he shrugged, not knowing what to say. “Well, so’s this.”

 

You snapped and three swirling blasts of red hurtled against the metal bars Clint was leaning against.

 

“Don’t do this, (y/n).” He was warning you now, as he reached behind him.

 

“Bring it on, Hawk.” You raised your palm as he yanked out his bow and fired. The beam and the arrow collided and for a second it was like those corny action films where the time slowed down right before impact.

 

Then it was raining droplets as Clint’s arrow dropped to the ground

 

“Who knew?” You drawled. “Blood is thicker than water… guess it works for arrows too.”

 

Clint narrowed his eyes as he began shooting multiple arrows at you. In response, you swung from beam to beam, always keeping one hand free.

 

“(Y/n)!” Steve shouted from the roof as you dodged an arrow and fired a blast right past Clint’s ear. “Stop this!”

 

“No can do, Steve!” You yelled back as a huge fireball-looking thing nearly knocked Clint’s legs as he jumped into a split. He was always quite the acrobat.

 

“Come on sweetie!” Bucky tried next. “You know you’re going to get all tuckered out.”

 

You laughed bitterly as you sent small bullet-like shots along the ridge Clint was crossing. “Sorry Bucks, I’m a bit busy right now.”

 

Clint jumped behind a pillar as two beams blew past him.

 

“Not bad, Bird Brain. But try this on for size!” You clenched your fist for a second, before punching the air with a shout. A huge blood splatter appeared on the pillar a second later, as it cracked and started to crumble.

 

“Shit!” Clint dashed away as he shot a few more arrows at you, which you shot down with a few bolts.

 

“(Y/n)! We don’t want to have to hurt you!”

 

“So then don’t!” You swung against some bars before hanging from a loose chain. You shook your hand lightly as blood hailed down on a sprinting Clint.

 

“Oh God.” Steve turned to Bucky. “She’s not stopping. We’re going to have to use force.”

 

“Well, this should be fun.” Bucky prepared to hop down as Steve grabbed his arm.

 

“Wait. Let me try the shield first.” With that, he flung it towards you.

 

 

You looked up and saw the big red star spinning towards you. Damn. “It’s not like you to make a move on a lady, Steve.” You called as you ducked, narrowly avoiding it. It sailed in a beautiful arc before he caught it again.

 

“You’re leaving me no choice!” With that, he jumped down from the roof, maneuvering the maze of construction carefully.

 

“I think your shield’s indestructible, but I’ll try anyway.” With that, you began shooting out massive bursts of blood. The proved no match for Captain America’s secret weapon, but the blood spatter was in no way harmless.

 

“Ugh!” Steve spat out a mouthful of blood as a shot ricocheted onto a nearby pole.

 

“Sorry Cap! But you started it.” You ducked and threw a couple more blows towards Clint, who fired his arrows back, cutting the path of each one. This would be quite fun if you weren’t so pissed.

 

“Bucky! I need back up!”

 

“Coming Steve!” Bucky hopped down next with his arsenal of blades. “Don’t make me do this (y/n)!”

 

“What are you talking about Bucky? You always liked it kinky!” You taunted as he threw a few daggers at you. You unleashed a flurry of red, blocking all but one of the knives. Bucky staggered as he used his metal arm to shield himself, but a stray bolt hit his stomach. He groaned as one of his knives sliced your forearm open.

 

“Shit.” Bucky stared at you with his eyes popping out when he saw your cut.

 

“That. Hurt.” You glared at him, before lifting both hands.

 

“Uh oh.” Bucky and Steve began running and ducking as blasts of red started flying towards them from all directions.

 

“(Y/n)!” Clint called desperately from below, but it fell on deaf ears. You were beyond pissed. Soon, the walls were covered with red and the beams that hadn’t fallen were dripping. You had sustained a slice from Steve’s shield and an arrow to the knee. Meanwhile, Clint was clutching one shoulder as he tried to shoot with his injury, Bucky was grazed on the side of his face in addition to the blast to his stomach, and Steve was peppered with wounds where the splatters were hitting. You were all breathing heavily with no signs of stopping.

 

 

“Well well, you’ve made quite a mess (y/n), haven’t you.”

 

“Loki!” Steve growled. “What took you so long?!”

 

“What are you talking about? You seem to be handling it fine on your own.” He spoke haughtily as you and your friends continued duking it out.

 

“Well what are you waiting for?!” Bucky shouted as one of his daggers narrowly missed your ankle.

 

“I thought I’d enjoy the view for a bit.”

 

You snarled as a wall of blood broke, slowing but not stopping Steve’s shield.

 

“For the love of god Loki, do something!” Clint hollered as his arm shook clutching his quiver.

 

“Well, I suppose I could ingratiate myself to you… this time.”

 

With that, Loki appeared next to you.

 

“Don’t, Loki.” You didn’t bother trying to fight him as you continued your assault below.

 

“Believe me, (y/n), it wasn’t my first choice.”

 

“So just leave then.” He pulled you back as Steve’s shield made another round. “Thanks.”

 

“I would, but you’re not looking so good either.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Hardly.”

 

“Well even so, what do you care.”

 

 

Loki snarled. “(Y/n)! I’m losing my patience!”

 

“Well, so am I!” You let out a row of rounds as the boys scattered.

 

“I’m not doing this for them. I could care less.”

 

“Then why are you here?!” You hit the air angrily again, sending an arc of blood to meet Steve’s shield. A second later, an arrow grazed your leg. “Fuck!”

 

“I’m doing this for you damnit!” With that, Loki stepped towards you and pulled you into a kiss.

 

This time, you fought back. With your hands stuck behind your back in his grip, you continued firing.

 

“Stop resisting!”

 

“No!”

 

“Look at me!” Loki commanded as he pulled back and put his face on either sides of your face.

 

You tried to twist out of his grip as your palms opened and closed, but he held your gaze to him.

 

“Look what they’ve done to you!”

 

“Why do you think I’m doing this?!”

 

“No, why do you think I’m doing this?! You’re not hurting them, you’re hurting yourself!”

 

 

“I DON’T CARE!” You screamed as your whole body turned feverishly hot. You squeezed your eyes shut in pain, before a huge wave of blood soared out towards them.

 

“I don’t care,” you whispered as your chest heaved and you blinked hard.

 

“I know, love. I know.” Loki picked you up like a bride, and kissed your forehead, as tears ran down your face. The red all around you began to fade as you let yourself go limp in his arms.

 

“I know.” And with those last words, he whisked you off to your bedroom, and you let yourself succumb to rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely is so awesome! Loki is so smexy!
> 
> Clint is a grade A douche.
> 
>  
> 
> Random ramblings:  
> i worked hard on the battle scene. i dont know what it is with me and choreography but i really want it to speak to you. to COME TO LIFEEE.  
> who am i kidding i work hard on every chapter. *glowers*  
> lokixlovely banter. it is the bane of Clint's existence. so is the thought of you in someone else's arms. ESPECIALLY LOKI'S.  
> and in your underwear? that should be reserved for him! *Clint seeths*  
> Pharm gets props for calling that one. She also gets props for commenting always. And being the Steve to my Bucky.  
> see guys? this is what happens when you give me love? you get love back.
> 
> loki loves you. he really does. so does Clint he just sucks ass at showing it. by the way i get a serious high-school-crush-vibe from Clint in this chapter. this is exactly what my ex would've done when he liked me but i didn't know it. 
> 
> except Clint is much easier to forgive. *swoon*
> 
> i'm so glad lovely finally got to go full on badass in this one. sometimes a girl's just gotta let off a little steam. or blood. i swear i'm plagiarizing myself with that comment. it's probably been in a previous chapter.
> 
> bucky is the best. his fighting style is so cool. 
> 
> by the way i hate it when guys call girls sluts because they're sleeping with someone other than themselves (the guy talking). i had to put it in though since it's realistic. then i took it out on Clint by having Loki come to your rescue. mm smexy god of lies. 
> 
> why does this happen? Loki always ends up in the middle. it's the hair, i swear. (THAT RHYMES!!)
> 
> the conversation at the beginning is so cute. 
> 
> quick poll: cute banter with Loki or hot hate sex?
> 
>  
> 
> leave me a comment if you liked lovelies! *points below*
> 
> p.s. DID YOU CATCH THE QUOTE? LEAVE ME A NOTE IF YOU DID ;DDDDDD


	6. Green-eyed Monster makes Bruce Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bad Clint *slaps hand* bad!!
> 
> i watched 50 shades yesterday   
> it sucked so hard   
> i should stick to my own fanfics ;)
> 
> GIMME SOME LOVE LOVELIES  
> OR YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO THE RED ROOM OF YOUR CHOOSING BY THE MAN OF YOUR CHOOSING  
> wait is this supposed to be an incentive or what?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just read. and comment.

“Well that’s a mess.”

 

“Shut up Tony.” Bucky glowered at him as he applied salve to his stomach.

 

“I leave for two seconds and all goes to hell.” He smirks. “Make that two hours. Or two days.” He whistles.

 

“Shut up and help them clean up.”

 

“Why??”

 

“Because you didn’t help them fight. If I’d known what was going on, I would’ve made you go too.”

 

“Thanks a lot Pepper.” Tony mock glared at his newly reunited love as he went to instruct Jarvis and his toys on what to do.

 

“Everything okay?” Bruce walked in with Nat the Cat and surveyed the damage.

 

“Just dandy.” Clint was wincing as he attempted to bandage his shoulder with one hand.

 

“Here, let me do it.” Nat the Cat bent over and pulled the cloth tight as Clint yelped.

 

“Not too hard!”

 

“This is all your fault you know?”

 

“How?!”

 

Everyone turned to crucify him with their stares. “Okay fine. So I dropped her. But it was on accident.”

 

“You dropped her?!” Bruce looked on the edge of a hernia, so Nat the Cat waved him back to his office.

 

“It’s not just that.” Steve lectured. “You’ve been a jerk to her all day.”

 

“I have not!”

 

“You tripped her!”

 

“I didn’t!”

 

“Everyone saw.” Nat was bluffing, but as Black Widow, it worked.

 

“Fine, I did.” Bucky and Steve stared at him in horror. “But it was only so she would know how stupid those shoes were?”

 

“What?!” Pepper turned to glare at him. “Clint! That is terrible! You’re better than that!”

 

“Well it wasn’t the only reason…”

 

“Then what was the other one?!”

 

“I meant to catch her when she fell…”

 

Pepper sighed and put her hand against her forehead. “So this is the second time you’ve dropped her today.”

 

“Well… yeah.”

 

“You’ve got to get over your issues, man.” Bucky hissed as the antiseptic hit his face. “And just fucking tell her.”

 

“I can’t!” Clint put his head in his hands. “Not anymore.”

 

“If you don’t, things are only going to get worse.” Steve warned.

 

“How can I do anything after what just happened?!”

 

“Well you’re gonna have to suck it up and deal with it if you don’t want what happened today to repeat itself. Or worse!”

 

He shook his head. “It’s not just that.”

 

“Then what?!”

 

 

“You saw the way Loki was with her!”

 

“And? What’s your point?”

 

“Did you see the way she looked at him?” His face sagged as he stared at his palms.

 

“So what, then? You’re just going to give up?!”

 

“What else can I do?”

 

Nat stood up sharply and locked eyes with him. He shivered involuntarily at her icy glare. “Get. Your. Shit. Together.” She turned on her heel after making sure the guys were okay. “(Y/n) deserves to be happy.”

 

With that, she stormed off, leaving a disheartened Clint and two very grumpy Soldiers in her wake.

 

 

“Mm…” You mumbled as a numbing ice spread over your overheated body.

 

“Shh, go back to sleep (y/n).”

 

“Wha-“

 

“I’m working on your wounds. Just rest.”

 

You huddled under the blankets as the cold continued seeping into you.

 

“Here.” He pulled the comforter up and tucked you in tightly. “Better?”

 

“Mhm.” You were exhausted and broken. You just wanted to sleep for a few years. You wondered how it felt. You’d ask Steve later.

 

Loki tsked as his hands continued glowing. “You’ve definitely overexerted yourself today. You’re still getting used to your powers; you should hold off for a few days.”

 

“I’d like to hold off for a few forevers.”

 

He chuckled as he pressed a cool hand to your forehead. “Well, you’re not burning up anymore. It’s a start, anyway.” He looked at you thoughtfully. “You know, you have a lot more strength than you realize.”

 

“From dealing with morons. Yeah.”

 

He smirked. “I know the feeling.” He put his hands gently on your arm. “Would you like to sleep now, love? I can continue tomorrow; your injuries are pretty extensive but I think I’ve taken care of the pressing ones already.”

 

“And my ankle?” You rolled it carefully.

 

“Yes, I took care of that.”

 

“You’re a doll.” He rolled his eyes but smiled gently as you snuggled towards him.

 

“He did quite a number on you.”

 

“You should see the other guy.” You smiled grimly.

 

“I don’t mean that, (y/n).”

 

You raised an eyebrow sleepily. He waved his hand. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

 

“You may rest, loyal subject.” You mumbled inaudibly as you curled up into a little ball and drifted off.

 

 

 

“You deserve better, (y/n). You deserve to be so, so happy.”

 

 

 

“Hey (y/n).”

 

“Mmf.”

 

“(Y/n).” Some was shaking you. You pushed them away half-heartedly as you clutched the sheets.

 

“Come on.” Now someone was picking you up and slinging you over there shoulder.

 

“Ergh.” You tried to hit them but you were so sluggish it ended up like a light tap.

 

“Stop it, it’s only me.”

 

“Who’s me.”

 

“It’s Clint.” You stiffened and sat up. Or tried to. You managed to get your chest almost to eye level as you glared at him.

 

“What do you want, asshole?”

 

“Shush. I’m just taking you back to bed.”

 

“I was fine where I was!”

 

“You were sleeping with Loki.”

 

“So?!”

 

“So I’m bringing you to your room.”

 

“Why?!”

 

“You’ll be more comfortable there!”

 

“I’ll be more comfortable asleep! Put me back!”

 

“No can do, Juliet.” With that, he nestled you against his neck and opened the door to the stairs. Most of the debris had been cleared away, and all red stains had long since faded. One of the few positives about being a bloodhound. Or whatever.

 

“Ugh.” You were pissed but you didn’t have enough energy to struggle. Or argue. “Didn’t Tony fix the elevator yet?”

 

“Actually the elevator’s fine.”

 

“Then why the hell are we on the stairs??”

 

He stopped a ways, leaning against a wall quietly to rest his throbbing body. “Hello??!!”

 

“Look (y/n)…” He broke off into silence.

 

“Look what?!”

 

“I…” he struggled with finding the right words. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Me too. I’m sorry I’m not in bed right now.”

 

“I mean… you know. About everything.”

 

You groaned. “Not now, Clint. Right now I need about ten months of shuteye.”

 

“I just… need to apologize. Really.”

 

You let your head drop back down against his back. “You can apologize later. Just let me go sleep.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

You kicked your feet in irritation. “Clint, don’t you think I’ve had enough to deal with today?? Can you please just be nice to me for once and let me go?”

 

He straightened up. “Right. Well… here goes, I guess.” With that, he started up the steps.

 

“Clint!”

 

“Hm?”

 

“The stairs!”

 

“Yes we are using them.”

 

“Why no elevator??” He was surprisingly deft in his climbing but you just wanted to get to a nice, soft, pillow.

 

“I should’ve done this a long time ago, (y/n).”

 

“Taken the stairs?!”

 

“No.” He shifted you slightly to get a better grip, ignoring the shooting pain travelling all the way from his back to his arm. “Carried you.”

 

You sighed, confused and frustrated. “What are you talking about??”

 

“It’s…” He took a shaky breath as you banged your head repeatedly against his spine. “Nevermind.”

 

You cursed as you drooped towards the ground again.

 

“Look, I’m just… really sorry okay?”

 

“Yeah yeah. Just hurry up and get there already.”

 

He smiled slightly as he continued up.

 

“Clint?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You know you’re an asshole right?”

 

You could feel his heartbeat as a laugh rumbled through his chest, humming against you. “I know, (y/n).”

 

“Good.” With that, you let your eyes close sleepily as the sheep flew over your head in pink ballet slippers.

 

 

“I love you (y/n).”

 

“Yeah yeah. Shmrgl.”

 

 

When you woke up, you saw a beautiful assortment of flowers sitting in a vase on your dresser. “Morning (y/n),” Steve called cheerily as he walked by.

 

“Hey sunshine.” You stretched and groaned, immediately regretting it.

 

“How you feeling?”

 

“Not too hot.” You felt your stomach drop when you remembered what happened. “Steve I-“

 

“Don’t worry sugar.” Bucky dropped in and smiled at you, despite the bandage on his head. “We give Clint full credit.”

 

“All water under the bridge,” Steve added as he smiled from the doorway.

 

“I’m really sorry you guys.” You felt twice as guilty at how well they were taking it.

 

“Hey, sometimes people need to let off a little steam. Or a little blood in your case. You little Vamp.” You giggled as Bucky sat down and squeezed your hand. “By the way, Clint brought you those. He’s soft on ya, that one.”

 

You narrowed your eyes until you saw the handwriting on the card. “Oh, that Clint.”

 

“Yup. I gave him a once-over in the lobby. Seems okay. No threat. Probably not a fag.”

 

“Bucky!!”

 

“Besides, after your performance last night, you can walk through any dark alley you damn well please.” You looked down sadly until ne nudged you and you saw him smirking. “I’m impressed, (y/n).”

 

“You’re not too shabby yourself Stonewall Barneson.” You lifted your forearm displaying your battle scar proudly; Loki had closed the wound, but the skin was still puckered and pink.

 

“Sometime we’ll have a rematch. When you’re not completely heartbroken.”

 

“My heart was not broken.” You glowered at Bucky as he looked back nonplussed. “Just severely dented.”

 

“Like my shield.” You looked up in surprise but Steve was smiling. “Joke. Takes a lot more than that to damage vibranium My shirts though...” The three of you laughed and you relaxed. What would you do without these blokes?

 

“Knock knock.” Nat the Cat walked in with coffee and… PopTarts? “Thor insisted it would make you feel better. I brought you this just in case.” She placed a carton of cereal and an apple on the nightstand. “Nice flowers.”

 

“Yeah, Clint’s apology bouquet.” She raised her eyebrows. “Really? I didn’t think he had it in him.”

 

“What? Oh no, not that Clint. My Clint.” She gave you a smug look at the new nickname. “For missing out on our date.”

 

“Ah. What a gentleman.” Loki appeared in the doorway and Steve and Bucky immediately tensed up. Luckily Nat the Cat was there to diffuse the situation. “Loki. Thanks for helping out last night.”

 

“My pleasure, Ms. Widow.” He smiled enigmatically before walking to your bed and standing over you. “Feeling better (y/n)?”

 

“Yeah, lots.” You resisted the urge to cuddle him on the spot. “Though I was rudely interrupted halfway through the night.” The besties turned and glared at Loki before you waved your hands to stop them. “Clint. It was Clint. Not Loki.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Nat looked like she was three seconds from hunting him down and stabbing him to death. You had half a mind to let her.

 

“Yeah. He insisted on taking me back to my bed because apparently it’s more comfortable, which is debatable, since Tony always buys the expensive shit.”

 

“That’s right sweet cakes.” Tony peeked in at the scene. “Which you completely destroyed in the course of an hour.”

 

“If you had been there I would’ve destroyed you too.”

 

“As if.” He stuck out his tongue at you to make you laugh, before wandering off for some “afternoon delight” (or morning for that matter) with Pepper.

 

“Wait, so Clint woke you up in the middle of the night just to take you back to bed?” Kind Steve had not lost track of the conversation.

 

“Yeah. And, oh get this. He insisted on taking the stairs!”

 

“Well that’s just imbecilic.”

 

“Right? He told me the elevator was fine but that he… something about…” you racked your brain but came up with jack shit. “Whatever. Luckily I fell asleep somewhere between the second and third floors. Otherwise we would have gone through round two.

 

“And that would not have been fun.” Steve wanted to make sure you understood this behavior was not tolerated and very dangerous. What he didn’t know was that you already knew that… but you didn’t care to share it yet.

 

“Well this morning powwow has been lovely, but I think Loki needs to get back to playing doctor with me.”

 

Steve turned a delicious shade of scarlet as Bucky laughed and waved everyone out. “Don’t have too much fun without me babe.”

 

“Get out!!”

 

 

“I have to admit I was slightly disappointed when the archer absconded with you from my bed, pet.”

 

“I’m not your pet Loki.”

 

“Well whatever you are I need to fix you up so stop fidgeting.”

 

You stuck your tongue out as his hands started glowing and you were once again engulfed in a not so fun ice bath. Though you knew how to make it funner.

 

“Ah ah, keep those dirty thoughts to yourself (y/n).”

 

“Then stay out of my head Reindeer Games.” He smirked before hopping on to the bed, straddling you. Well this was getting interesting.

 

“I’m afraid I wasn’t clear enough. If you can’t keep your lascivious thoughts at bay, I might have to do something about it.”

 

“Inappropriate doctor-patient relations, Loki.”

 

“Oh really? I always assumed this was the meaning of doctor-patient privilege.”

 

 

“WOAHH!!!” Clint fell from a loose vent above and landed right on top of Loki. Who was on top of you.

 

“SHIT!! CLINT!”

 

“I’m so sorry, (y/n)! Loki!” Clint jumped off, brushing at his pants. “These damn vents need to be fixed. Sorry to scare you!” He smiled at you apologetically as you shot daggers at him with your eyes.

 

“Are you feeling better?”

 

“Clint!”

 

“Yes?”

 

“GET OUT!”

 

“Okay,” he said backing away, still smiling like he was sorry. Which he wasn’t. If he hadn’t “fallen” at that moment who knows what kind of shenanigans would have gone on. “Hey, why don’t you join me for breakfast guys?” That ought to keep them out of trouble for a while. And by out of trouble he meant out of Loki’s nefarious arms.

 

“Maybe.” You refused to let his expression make you laugh. “Now go!!”

 

“Right, sorry. See you guys later then!” He waved brightly before closing the door behind him.

 

“Subtle, Clint.”

 

“Shut up Nat. You were eavesdropping too.”

 

“Actually I was about to check on her, properly. Which apparently I didn’t have to since you were already doing that from the ceiling.”

 

“Either way we were about to save (Y/n) from some fucking.”

 

“First of all, you are vulgar beyond imagination. Second of all, I think said imagination is running away from you-“

 

“He was on top of her.”

 

“Ew. This is why you give people their personal space, Clint. And their privacy!!”

 

“She doesn’t want this!”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah.” He put his hands on his hips defensively. “She doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s confused. Loki’s probably uh… brainwashed her.”

 

“You’re being pathetic.”

 

“Oh yeah?” He racked his brain for a good comeback, but sadly came up with nothing. “Well, you’re the one who said to do something about it.”

 

“I told you to get your shit together. Not continuing spying on her like some peeping tom.”

 

“I’m working on it, okay?”

 

Nat the Cat shook her head. Part of her wanted to give him a hug; he was obviously hopeless. The other ninety percent thought about snapping his neck and putting everyone out of their misery. Including his own.

 

“Come on, Barton. Let’s go before you embarrass yourself any further.”

 

 

“Fuck.” You were rubbing your back as Loki sat next to you, healing you once again. “What an idiot.”

 

“You know he did that on purpose, right?”

 

“What are you talking about?!”

 

“Hmm. Perhaps you really haven’t noticed.”

 

“Noticed what?”

 

“Well I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise now, would I?”

 

“Loki!!”

 

“Hush now, the healer’s working.”

 

 

Back in the kitchen Nat the Cat was regaling the rest of your friends with Clint’s adventures.

 

Meaning she was complaining about how stupid he was acting. Which he was.

 

“Really? Spying? What are you doing, hoping to catch her naked?”

 

“Bucky!”

 

“What?! Steve, I know you’re pure and all, but you would do the same.”

 

“I would not!”

 

“Sheesh, you guys are scrubs.”

 

“Really Tony? Is that why you’re guzzling coffee like the rest of us instead of getting your “morning delight?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Clint was awfully quiet as he sipped at his latte. Thor took this opportunity to slap him on the back comfortingly. Or that was the intent anyway.

 

“Do not worry Brother Clint. I am sure (y/n) can see your merit far outweighs that of my younger brother.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“They seemed pretty cozy earlier.”

 

Nat the Cat rolled her eyes. “That’s nobody’s business but theirs, Clint.”

 

“Woah, what was going down? OW!”

 

“I don’t think we should be discussing (y/n)’s love life.” Ever the gentleman, Steve stuck up for you.

 

 

At this point Loki strolled in casually finishing the last button on his pants.

 

Everyone froze. Including Thor.

 

“…” Bucky’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, but no sound came out.

 

“Thanks Loki. That was exactly what I needed.” You came in next, smoothing your hair.

 

“Anytime, dear.”

 

The silence was deafening. So deafening.

 

You turned and looked at everyone who was stock still. The coffee Tony was pouring was dripping onto the counter.

 

“Loki! What did you do?!”

 

“I assure you it was not at my hands. Well, not exactly anyway.” He snickered as Steve turned maroon. This man was a whole freaking Pantene palette.

 

“What’s going on?” Bruce walked in and surveyed the scene. “Okay nevermind, forget I asked.” He tugged the coffee pot from Tony’s hand, which was now pooling onto the floor. His fingers remained frozen in place as Bruce grabbed a mug and sat down at the island.

 

“How are you feeling, (y/n).”

 

“Much better Bruce, thanks.” He gave you a small smile before taking his cup and downing it.

 

“Hey Bruce?”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Do you know what’s wrong with everyone?”

 

“No clue.”

 

 

You and Bruce chatted for about five minutes before the room began to move again. “Finally, Loki.”

 

“As I previously stated, it was not my doing.”

 

“And just who do you think you’re doing?!”

 

“What, Bucky.” Steve recovered next, pulling on his arm. “What he’s doing.”

 

“I stand by my original accusation.”

 

“Sheeit.” Tony raised his mug to you solemnly. “You’ve beaten me. I relinquish my crown.”

 

“What are you yapping about Tony?!”

 

“As kinkiest man of the tower. Obviously you’ve taken the title. Or woman, in your case.”

 

You peered at him completely befuddled.

 

“This was not what I hoped for, but alas, if it is what you desire (y/n) you have my blessing.”

 

“We don’t need your blessing brother.”

 

Surprisingly, Nat the Cat was the last one to come to her senses. “Well, it’s your life (y/n).” She raised her hands and smirked. “Second time’s the charm right?”

 

“Uh, I guess?”

 

Loki snickered as he walked to you and pressed you against the counter. “We’ll continue later, (y/n).”

 

“Can’t wait.” Loki sauntered off resisting the urge to laugh maniacally as he headed off to do god knows what. Well, he knew anyway.

 

 

You turned and grabbed an English muffin before rooting through the fridge for some jam.

 

“Obviously, you guys had a tough night yesterday. So I’m just gonna chalk it up to that.”

 

“We weren’t the only ones.”

 

“You don’t get to talk Tony since you skipped out on helping.”

 

“On helping you get over your crazies?”

 

“Tomato, fuck you Stark.”

 

Tony grinned and poured himself another cup. At least he wasn’t popping the booze. Yet. “Sorry, but you’ll have to get in line for that.”

 

 

“Keep talking like that and she won’t have to.” Pepper walked in and smacked him as she went for a canister of oatmeal. “Morning guys, how are you all feeling?”

 

“I bet (y/n)’s doing just great.” Apparently Nat the Cat had not been the last to recover after all. Clint was hovered over his cup, gripping it as his knuckles turned white.

 

“Yes I am,” you answered in a clipped tone. Evidently it was asshole day again. “No thanks to you.”

 

“Me?” Clint’s voice has gotten dangerously low. Well if he was going to be a pill, you had something up your sleeve just for him. The cut Bucky had made could easily open up again under… duress.

 

“Yes, you.” Your tone was level, but everyone knew better.

 

“I’m not the one acting like a slut.”

 

“What I do with Loki, or any other guy for that matter, is none of your business.”

 

“It is my business!” Clint shot up like a bullet and slammed his cup down, sending porcelain and latte every which way.

 

“Clint!” Steve’s commanding voice was out; at times like this it was clear why he was the leader of the Avengers. “Shut your trap!”

 

Clint clamped his lips together; Steve could be very authoritative when times called for it.

 

“Well, I’m out.” Bruce left quickly before any more shattering happened and made himself shatter.

 

Nat the Cat put her hand on your shoulder. “Come on, (y/n). He’s not worth your time.” Her grip tightened when you didn’t move.

 

“Let’s go.” Bucky and Steve pulled Clint away to yell at him as you clenched your fists and tried not to punch Nat. You’d be taking your anger on your friend; the last one out of the bunch who deserved it.

 

You never understood Bruce more.

 

 

“I think I know what will help.” Nat the Cat gave Tony a withering look, but he ignored her without an annoying reply. He held out his hand and you pried open your fingers to take it.

 

As he led you away, you heard Thor say morosely, “I’m sorry Lady Natasha. My brother is nothing but trouble.”

 

“This time Thor, it’s not about Loki.”

 

 

“Ta-daaaa!” He threw open some large doors and gestured extravagantly with his arms.

 

“…”

 

“What? You don’t like it?” Tony pouted until he looked at your face.

 

You were awestruck. A huge room had been filled with bars and beams like a jungle gym. For advanced leapers.

 

“And see, here’s a sound system to pump you up, or calm you down.” Tony was like a little kid at a candy factory, showing you his new creation.

 

“Here’s a lever that will alternate the configurations of those rafters so you don’t get bored. I’ve already put in a few algorithms but I’ll update it soon so you have more to play with.”

 

“Tony-“

 

“And look! Look here!” He tugged you to a large Jacuzzi underneath part of the structure. “In addition to sensual relaxation, the temperature will fluctuate to regulate your blood levels and keep them… active. That’s helpful right?”

 

You nodded, wordlessly amazed.

 

“You can even use the new suit that Cli- uh, that Nat said she saw online.”

 

“Nat’s looking for a suit? But we-“

 

“And here!” Tony interrupted you hurriedly. “Now this is cool!”

 

“Is that a tropical punch dispenser?”

 

“No! Although I can install one if you like.” You shook your head as your smile got even wider, if that was possible. “This is a formula that Bruce and I synthesized to help you with your training. Don’t look at me like that, it’s not blood! It’s a similar compound that will react the same way your powers do when your own blood interacts with your skin and the air. At least I hope so.”

 

He looked at you slightly doubtfully. “There’s a small chance you’ll end up hulking out like Bruce.”

 

“Tony!”

 

“Small chance. Very very small!” You shook your head, but you were beaming so hard even Tony had to drop his smirk for a real smile.

 

“I figured there was only room enough for one asshole in our group. Since Clint’s made it his mission to top me, I had to do something in the meantime.”

 

You stepped forward and grabbed him in a tight hug. “Thanks Tony.”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“I mean it. This-“ Tony waved you away, not one for big thankyous. He bragged about everything so much he didn’t need it.

 

 

“Oh, before I forget!” He rustled around behind the blood-er synthetic compound machine until he picked something up. “For you.”

 

“Omigosh!” It was a beautiful fingerless glove in your favorite color.

 

“It’s your favorite color!” Tony grinned proudly. “Unless you were serious the last time you said puke green.”

 

You vaguely remembered Tony bugging you about it when you and Clint were furiously duking it out with Wii boxing.

 

“It’s perfect. But-“

 

“Ah ah, a magician never reveals his secrets.” Tony winked at you obnoxiously and you couldn’t help returning it. This bastard was a good friend.

 

“Oh yeah, here we go.” He pressed his hand against a framed Eeyore picture on the wall the size of a Hummer. The image shimmered before a door slid open under your feet.

 

“Wrong leverrrr!!” The two of you screamed as you fell down together. Halfway down you screeched to a halt and Tony joined you. “Atta girl. You caught on fast.” There were hooks and bars all around you that you used to stop your descent.

 

“Ever watched Entrapment?” You shook your head as a bunch of lasers started rotating around the room.

 

“Let’s play hot lava monster!” With that, he rolled forward as a beam barely missed his ear, making a hissing sound.

 

“Tony!”

 

“Relax babe.” He laughed. “They’re not actually heated. Unless you want them to be.” He winked again before pointing to a control panel nearby. “There’s over a hundred patterns at the moment. I’ll make a couple thousand more after I finish hacking Jessica Alba’s computer.”

 

You slapped your forehead with your palm as he cackled.

 

“Come on, let’s do a test run!”

 

With that, some Nicki Minaj started blasting as the lasers started changing colors.

 

“Light show. I like!”

 

“Good. ‘Cause you have five minutes to catch up to me before I tell Clint how you feel about him.”

 

“HEY!” You chased him with a cartwheel and several close calls with the wall. You caught his shoe just as a huge buzzer sounded.

 

Taylor Swift began blasting loudly- without autotune.

 

“AUGH!!”

 

“A little incentive I added for your… challenges.” He snickered as I knew you were trouble continued playing.

 

“But I caught you!!”

 

“Oh right. Well then.” He clapped and the sounds turned off.

 

“What is it with you and clapping?”

 

“I’m used to the sound of applause.” You groaned as he pressed his hand against a poster of… Nat’s boobs?!

 

“CLINT!!” You roared as a huge blast of air shot you guys back towards the gym.

 

“Air resistance!!” He shouted back as he began doing the breaststroke.

 

“Not that! Nat’s breasts?!”

 

“Oh right. Hehehe.” You kicked over in the air towards him until you could reach his ear and pinched it.

 

“Ow! Fine! I’ll change it to Clint’s ass then!”

 

“Hmph!” The blast of air finished as another floorboard opened and you landed in the gym again. “How’d you find out anyway?”

 

“I saw the way he was looking at you.”

 

“Don’t you mean the way I was looking at him?”

 

“Nah. I thought you were all about Loki. Lost a buttload of money that way.”

 

You rolled your eyes. Tony and his bets. “Wait what do you mean then?”

 

“Frosty.” He pointed above you to show you some more cool things. “Ropes courses. You can even take friends on these. Oh wait you don’t have any.” He ducked as you tried to bop him. “Although, I made this specifically for you.”

 

“Aww. I feel special.” You teased, but your heart was bursting with happiness.

 

“Seriously. All these controls are configured to your levels. Though you can change them. And only you.”

 

“Weren’t you the one doing all the secret handshakes with the walls earlier?”

 

“Yup. But as soon as I leave all ownership will transfer to you.”

 

“Then what are we waiting for?!” You yelled as you shoved him towards the door.

 

“Not so fast, Draculina.” You sighed. More vampire jokes. “Take a look at this.” He walked to another wall and kicked it. A huge clanging sounded above you.

 

“No…way…”

 

“Yes way!!” Tony shouted excitedly.

 

There, high above the ground, was your very own series of vents. “They connect to the ones in the building. Now you can spy on Clint spying on you.”

 

“Clint spying on who?!”

 

“Nothing.” He whistled as you tried to swat him. “Oh by the way, the entrances in the vents are also controlled only by you so you don’t have to worry about him following you back here.”

 

“Tony Egomaniac Stark you are the absolute best.”

 

“You’re not so bad yourself Blood-Sucker.” You laughed and pulled him into another hug.

 

“There’s a few other surprises around here, but I’ll let you find out about them on your own.”

 

“Should I be worried?”

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

“Not with my life.”

 

He roared with laughter as he headed towards the double doors. “I’ll leave you to your toys then.”

 

“Thanks Santa!”

 

“Be good this year now. On second thought be bad. Very bad. I’m sure someone has some coal for your stocking.” He ducked as you hurled a shoe at him. He made a motion to steal it but you had reached the “tropical punch” machine and smiled innocently at him. “That’s my girl.”

 

He waved at you. “Toodles!”

 

You smiled as did a handstand with joy. “Oh wait!”

 

Tony paused with one foot out the door and turned back. “What’s up? Oh by the way that stuff is perfectly safe to drink so I can flavor it with tropical punch and hit two birds with one stone, so to speak.”

 

“EW!”

 

“That all?”

 

“YES! Ugh, no.”

 

“Then spit it out Miss Fangs.”

 

You rolled your eyes. “What were you saying about Loki?”

 

“Oh, right. Well I’ll be leaving.”

 

“Tony!!!” You whined as he goose-stepped back in with a cocky grin. “Fine. I’ll tell you. You clueless little moron.”

 

You resisted the urge to throw some punches. Hah. Good one.

 

“I know you love Clint because Frosty looks at you like a lovesick puppy.”

 

“Huh?!”

 

He tapped you hard on your head. “Anyone home?”

 

“Ouch!”

 

“Do I have to break it down for you? How did you make it here anyway?”

 

You flipped him onto the floor with his arm behind his head and your foot very close to his crotch.

 

“I see.” He acknowledged sagely to the floor. “Can I get back up now?”

 

“Fine.” You released him and he got up, grabbing a cup and pouring some “punch” into it.

 

“EW!!”

 

“Cheers.” You knew he was doing this just to gross you out. And annoy you.

 

“Ugh tastes like chemicals. Remind me to flavor it.”

 

“I’ll remember not to.”

 

“Anyway, here’s the short version. And by short version I mean short bus version.”

 

“You’re about to be a short bus if you don’t hurry up.”

 

“That doesn’t work at all.”

 

“TONY!”

 

He patted you on the arm condescendingly as he tossed the cup behind him. A lever opened and a metal claw type thing swept the ground, pulling the cup back into the wall. A second later, it came out with a wet paper towel and mopped up the spill. “Automatic garbage disposal,” Tony stated proudly. You couldn’t help giggling.

 

“Anyway, here goes: You like Clint. Rudolph likes you. End of story. Well not the end. I hate spoiling the ending.”

 

“Ugh.” You shook Tony’s annoyingness out of your head to think it through. “Wait what do you mean Loki likes me?!”

 

“I don’t know how I can make it any easier babe.”

 

“We’re just flirting.”

 

“Yes. You’re both flirting. He’s also falling madly into love with you. Or lust. Whatever. But he definitely gives a crap about you.”

 

“Unlike Buttface.”

 

“Watch yourself.”

 

“You’re defending him?!”

 

“No. I’m just saying, keep your eyes open. You might learn something new.”

 

“You’re about to learn something new Tony.”

 

“Nonsense. I get my ass kicked all the time.” With a laugh he walked out of the gym leaving you to your new paradise.

 

 

 

“By the way,” he asked nonchalantly as stuck his head back in. “Were the two of you actually fucking earlier?”

 

“TONY!”

 

“Hey, no judgment. Although if you did, I’d like to know if his you-know-what was cold-“

 

“EWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

He cackled as he stepped through the double doors. “I figured you didn’t have it in you. Literally.”

 

“OUT!!!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh Tony *hugs* i had to give my favorite billionaire some time to shine (sorry bruce)
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> i was going through my work and realized i never addressed the issue fully; hence the last four sentences were borne. hehehe. *sniggers*  
> why was loki buttoning his pants? either he had just come out of the bathroom or he unbuttoned them just so he could make the grand entrance. either way we're not complaining.   
> but it was a nice mindfuck. (i was debating whether or not to leave it out, but decided to put it in at the last second. more laughs for the pervy)
> 
> thumbs up for lovely being lovely. and totally clueless. in your defense you didn't see what he was doing. (if you did you would have to either a. kill him. or b. take him to your room and TEACH HIM A LESSON!!)  
> speaking of which, quick poll: a or b?
> 
> THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY REFERENCES. SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW. YES YOU AND LOKI FUCKED LAST YEAR. during christmas. he was also the one who kept you from falling. last year. during christmas.
> 
> there, i said it. i was gonna keep it as speculation but i couldn't help myself.
> 
> look what you've done to me sexy god of lies!!!
> 
> i've taken the potato, potato thing way too far. (or tomato tomato.) it makes more sense if you say it out loud.
> 
> imagine tony's ta-da in loki's voice. muahaha. mischiefmanaged.


	7. Daddy Tony Dearest and FEELS FEELS FEELS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where you (and Tony) have fun at Clint's expense
> 
> and then we learn Clint's true expense
> 
> :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: FEELS
> 
> NO MINDFUCKS. JUST LOTS OF FEELS.
> 
> MILD ANGST. MOSTLY FEELS.
> 
> LEAVE ME A FEELY COMMENT IF YOU ENJOYED
> 
> and lots of fun-loving punsters a la moi
> 
> but also FEELS. 
> 
> lots of funnies.

 

“What are you going to do, give me a time-out? Fold me over your knee and give me a few slaps?”

 

“Don’t tempt me,” Bucky growled as Steve gave him a look.

 

“Why are you doing this to yourself Clint?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Capsicle?”

 

“Shall I remind him Steve?”

 

“Bucky, please.” He put a hand on his friend’s arm to calm him down before turning back to Clint. “If you’re trying to make (y/n) hate it, you’re doing a damn good job of it.”

 

“Look at you, Rogers, saying one whole curse word. I’m so scared.”

 

“You should be.”

 

“Bucky.” Steve warned.

 

“Why are wasting our time, Cap? It’s obvious at this point (y/n) deserves even Loki more than this waste of space.”

 

“Bucky!” Steve took a deep breath. “Maybe you should leave the two of us.”

 

“And let you have all the fun? No way. I wanna knock this kid around too.”

 

Steve crossed his arms and glared at him until Bucky rolled his eyes and turned. “You better hope for your sake, Barton, that she’s feeling better. Or else you and I are gonna have another one on one. And Stevie here won’t be able to save you this time.”

 

“I look forward to it,” Clint replied cockily as Bucky slammed the door behind him, nearly pulling it off it’s hinges.

 

 

“Looks like it’s just the two of us now.” Clint whistled a tune as Steve seriously considered giving him a pummeling. Too bad he had a reputation to uphold. He wasn’t much for violence anyway.

 

“Yes. So stop pretending you don’t care and spill it.”

 

“You ain’t my boss when we’re not on the battlefield, buddy.”

 

“Fine. Then as a friend.”

 

“With friends like you, who needs-“

 

One hard glare from Captain America and Clint finally shut his piehole. “I’m doing this for you Clint. Not for me. Not for (y/n). And sure as hell not for Loki. So you can work with me, or you can keep this up and lose any last shred of a chance with her.”

 

“I’d say that was already gone Cap,” Clint mumbled under his breath.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Look.” Clint lifted his head defiantly, before lowering it again. “I know I messed up. But there’s nothing I can do about it anymore.”

 

“Are you seriously giving me this crap right now?!”

 

“I’m serious, Steve.” He looked at the ground miserably. “There’s no way she’d want me now.”

 

“So you’re just going to give up.”

 

“There’s nothing left to do, Cap.”

 

Steve ran his hand through his hair, thoroughly annoyed. “I can’t believe it.”

 

“Hey, don’t give me the I’m-disappointed-in-you shit okay? I feel bad enough already.”

 

“Well you sure as hell aren’t acting like it.” Really, Steve could be quite macho when need be.

 

“I know!” Clint raised his voice, before lowering it again. “I know.”

 

“Well then, fix it!”

 

“I just-“ he broke off roughly. “Every time I see her, I just lose all self control.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“I mean, I can’t think straight. Hell I can barely put one foot in front of another when we’re in the same room.”

 

“Touching story.”

 

“I mean it! Do you think I want to treat her this way?!”

 

“Well you’re not doing a very good job of convincing me otherwise.”

 

Clint cursed and gritted his teeth. Steve stared at him impassively.

 

He took a deep breath. “I just… I’m not myself when she’s around. I can’t help acting like a fool. I’m a pussy, I know.”

 

For once, Steve didn’t tinge the slightest bit at his language. “Well, you’re going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Unless you want Loki to take her away from you.”

 

“That’s the last thing I want!!”

 

“Well…”

 

“You know what?” He sighed deeply. “I don’t even know anymore. I mean you were there yesterday. You saw her.”

 

“Yes she put on quite a show. It made a mark on me. And I’m speaking literally.”

 

“Not that.”

 

“Then what?!”

 

“She… she deserves him more than me. You’re right.”

 

Well, this wasn’t going anywhere.

 

“Clint. This is the man who almost single handedly took over New York. Deserve right now is a very relative term.”

 

He laughed bitterly. “Relative. You’re right.”

 

“So?”

 

“So I’ve brought nothing but pain to (y/n). At least he can make her smile! And, well, other things.”

 

Steve wasn’t even blushing. What a trooper. “Yes. You’ve hurt her badly.”

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“But this is just the past few days. God, Clint! The two of you have always been close!”

 

“Before now.” Clint put in morosely.

 

“Do you really think (y/n)’s going to forget about you after what, 48 hours?”

 

“She should.” Self-pity was raging here.

 

“Okay, am I talking to Hawkeye or PidgeonHead here?!”

 

“Good one Steve.”

 

Steve closed his eyes for a few moments, before opening them again. “Whether you deserve it or not, (y/n)’s going to give you another chance. You know that. You love that about her.”

 

“I… I love a lot of things about her.” He admitted.

 

“Do you really think she’s going to hold it against you forever?!”

 

He stayed silent for a while before relenting. “I guess not.”

 

“You know she won’t.”

 

 

Clint hesitated for a bit before he spoke again. “Do you think she loves him?”

 

Steve grabbed a chair and sat down heavily. “I don’t know, man. I don’t know.”

 

“’Cause if she does...”

 

“You’re going to give up?”

 

“I’m going to leave her be.” He shook his head. “I just want her to be happy. She deserves that.”

 

“Everyone deserves that, Clint.”

 

“I know. But her especially. She’s just…”

 

“(Y/n).”

 

“Yeah. She’s (y/n). Possibly the most amazing woman on the earth.”

 

“So why don’t you tell her that?!”

 

“Actions speak louder than words.”

 

“So act like, I don’t know, someone who thinks she’s the most amazing woman on the earth.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“Fine. Then act like someone who gives a damn.”

 

Clint nodded slowly. “You’re right.”

 

“I know I am.” Steve stood up. “Now you’re going to do this. And do it right. Or else Bucky won’t be the only one on your warpath.”

 

“Aye aye Captain.” Steve held in his smile until after he closed the door behind him.

 

“So how’d our little orphan do?”

 

“Well see, won’t we Bucky?”

 

 

Back in your Vamp Cave, as Tony had started calling it (and telling everyone else to), you were having a good time jumping from beams and smashing dummies. Tony had put one of Clint’s old bows on a big sack and taped a print out of his face on it. You had to admit, Tony could be a real sweetheart when he wasn’t being an ass.

 

Speaking off asses, you were finally starting to get over being mad at Clint. Not that you were ready to forgive him or anything. It’s just all the flying and jumping and hanging upside down made you happy. And Loki had definitely helped earlier.

 

 

“Well, it looks like someone has a new playground hmm? I suppose you won’t be seeking out my company so much now.”

 

“Aww, is someone jealous?” You turned and grinned at the demi-God leaning against the wall.

 

“If anyone would be, it’s certainly not me.” He smiled at you mysteriously but you were already on to a different subject.

 

“Seems like Tony was able to keep everyone out except the powerful God of Mischief hmm?”

 

“Actually I have to commend Stark this time around; even I cannot penetrate the walls myself. My copy will have to do for now.”

 

You laughed. Tony was definitely a genius.

 

“Erm, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

 

“Oh hey Jarvis.”

 

“Hello ma’am. And Mr. Laufeyson, I’m under strict instructions to deter all visitors unless Miss (Y/n) expressly allows you in.”

 

“Well seeing as you’re an artificial being, with no presumable strength or powers, I don’t see how you’ll make that possible. Especially since I myself am not actually in the building.”

 

“I’m afraid I’ll have to use force if you don’t comply, sir.”

 

“I’d like to see you try.”

 

“Very well.” A huge zap sounded as the figure in front of you vanished.

 

“UGH!” You heard a distant howl that Jarvis probably projected through the tower. “And that will be a demonstration for all who decline to follow further instructions.”

 

“Yes Jarvis,” you heard your friends answer with amusement.

 

 

“Uh, (y/n)?” A very tentative voice called your name. You knew that voice.

 

“What do you want, Clint?!”

 

“Uh, can we talk?”

 

“I’m busy!”

 

“Just for a second?” You could practically hear the puppy eyes just through his words. But you weren’t happy.

 

“Come back later.”

 

“I… can’t.”

 

“What do you mean you can’t?!” You did a couple of flips through the air to calm yourself down.

 

“Well…”

 

As he hemmed and hawed you went to the machine and considered unleashing hell. Or at least, synthetic compound mayhem.

 

“Uh…”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“I’m stuck.” His voice was really small now.

 

You cursed creatively for about thirty seconds. “You’re stuck where?!”

 

“In a vent.”

 

“So??”

 

“So it’s uhm… right next to your Vamp Cave- er… gym.”

 

You could not believe your luck. “Go ask Tony for help!”

 

“I can’t! I’m stuck!!”

 

“Then ask Jarvis!”

 

“He can’t do anything about it.”

 

“Why not?!”

 

“Well, uh… apparently the vent I was hanging out in happened to be uhm right next to your new playground.”

 

“What do you mean happened to be??”

 

“Alright alright!” His voice was whiny now, which was annoyingly cute. “It’s just… I heard Tony was doing some cool renovations so I came to check it out.”

 

“And??!”

 

“Well, uhm…” He was gradually regressing in age. You guessed he was in middle school right now. You refused to laugh at the thought of awkward Clint during puberty. It was hard.

 

“He was already, uh, done.” Clint hoped you couldn’t tell he was completely fibbing. Luckily, you were so used to him doing stupid stuff that you let it go.

 

“So what’s the problem?!”

 

“Well…”

 

“Spit it out Barton!!” You considered bathing yourself with the machine and blasting Clint out from wherever he was stuck. That thought cheered you up.

 

“I recommend that you come right out with it Master Barton before she completely tears you apart.”

 

“Thanks Jarvis.”

 

“Anytime ma’am.”

 

You heard muffled grumbling and covered your face with your hands. It doubled as a cover for your smile. Damn that bastard. He could always make you laugh. And cry. You kept that last part in mind so you wouldn’t get distracted.

 

“Okay fine! I managed to sneak into one of the vents above you when Tony was on his way out.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Well, in the transition between the authority between him and you, I crawled through. But uh… I wasn’t fast enough. So I’m kind of stuck.”

 

“Quite right.” Jarvis added. “That should teach you to try to get through my commands.”

 

You heard murmurs again and realized Jarvis had broadcasted that last part in case anyone needed another reminder.  


“Thanks Jarvis.”

 

“Yeah, thanks a lot.” Clint huffed.

 

You decided to dip your feet in the Jacuzzi to try and help you stay calm. It helped slightly. You could feel your blood flow increasing and decreasing, helping you relax. It was weird, but it helped.

 

“So… how exactly does one get stuck between the vents?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“I can answer that ma’am.” Jarvis said with a hint of snarkiness. “Originally, the openings connecting the vents Master Stark built you-

 

“Hmph!” Clint interrupted. “Doesn’t fix any of the existing ones but makes you a jungle gym.

 

“You do realize that Jarvis and I are the only ones who can help you right?”

 

Clint quickly changed his attitude. “Go right ahead Jarvis.”

 

“Thank you sir.” Jarvis was practically gloating at this point. “Unfortunately, Master Barton was halfway through an opening as you gained command, so I couldn’t seal the vents properly. That is, the normal way.”

 

“What’s the normal way?”

 

“Metal, madam.”

 

You heard Clint squeak in fear. You smiled. Jarvis was definitely trying to cheer you up. “So instead I improvised with a force field. He is right now half inside the gym and half outside.”

 

You heard Clint groan. “If you could change the type of lock why couldn’t you just let me in?”

 

“That’s not what I’m programmed to do, sir.”

 

You wanted to give Jarvis a hug right now.

 

“Anyway it is up to Miss (y/n) now to let you out. Or in. Or neither.”

 

“What?!” Clint started pounding on the metal walls around him furiously. “Let me out! Let me out!!”

 

“I wouldn’t do that sir. If Miss (Y/n) is to free you, I would suggest you ingratiate yourself to her.”

 

“Thanks Jarvis.” Forget the hug. You wanted to kiss Jarvis now.

 

Clint sighed very loudly. “(Y/n)?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you think you could uh…”

 

“Yes Mr. Barton?”

 

“Let me out?” He tried not to growl the last part out as you copied Jarvis.

 

“Let me think about it for a bit.” You splashed your feet in the water happily as Jarvis hummed in agreement.

 

“Please?”

 

 

“Please (y/n)?!”

 

Still nothing.

 

“PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE-”

 

“I’m thinking about it Clint.” You called jovially as you contemplated taking a dip. Since no one could come in anyway, you could slip in naked!! Then the thought of Clint being in the same room, even if he couldn’t see, shattered your awesome picture. You decided to roll up your pants and stick your calves in next.

 

“(Y/n)!!!!” His voice was echoing through the vents, but for once you weren’t annoyed.

 

“Jarvis?”

 

“Yes ma’am?”

 

“Could you get Tony to set up some punch in here?”

 

“I’ll get right on it ma’am.”

 

“WHAT?!” Clint started banging his head on the floor in frustration.

 

“Actually, make that sparkling water. With fruit fizz. I’m feeling particularly celebratory.”

 

“Absolutely, ma’am.”

 

Clint stopped his self-battery for a second and thought to himself. If Tony were to come in with refreshments, the field would unlock momentarily! He grinned as he tried to decide whether to come in or go out. It would definitely be easier to leave… but what fun would that be?

 

 

“What’s up buttercup?”

 

“Not much T-Bag. How’s it hanging for you?”

 

“I’m just playin with Bruce in the lab.”

 

“Hey Bruce!”

 

“Hey (y/n),” Bruce responded as his face popped into the camera, sounding quite happy. “The formula we’re working on is really something. I can’t wait to see it in action.”

 

“Sounds great Brucie! Except, uhm…”

 

“Don’t worry, (y/n). I won’t let him turn you into a big red guy.”

 

“Tony!!” You could hear Bruce chuckling in the background so you relaxed.

 

“Anyway, I heard you were thirsty?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Are you sure you won’t take up my offer on flavoring the-“

 

“No thanks!”

 

“Hmph. You have no sense of adventure.” Nonetheless, a lever opened nearby and another machine rolled.

 

“Woah.”

 

“That’s right babe. Nothing but the best from Daddy.”

 

“Okay that’s a little creepy.”

 

“I know.” You rolled your eyes at his suggestive tone but smiled despite it. “So what’s in here.”

 

“Whatever makes your dreams come true.”

 

“Tony…”

 

“Just tell Jarvis what you want and he’ll stock up. Except no booze. None of my precious booze.”

 

“Not even a little?”

 

“Nope. Nada. Or else I will take away your drink privileges.”

 

“Aw shucks.” You pouted at the screen and he laughed.

 

“Anyway, see ya later. Oh and tell Barton I said hi.”

 

“Will do.”

 

“WHAT?! TONY YOU KNOW I’M HERE?! HELP ME OUT!!”

 

“Not my problem bro. Don’t fuck with my tech.”

 

“BUT SHE’S-“

 

“Toodles babe.” With a wink, the screen flashed closed and you sighed happily, for once.

 

“Whatever you like, ma’am.”

 

You tapped your forehead thoughtfully as you headed over to the soda fountain.

 

“Hurry up and decide so you can let me out!”

 

“You really are a slow learner, aren’t you.”

 

“Come on!!” He decided to try a different tact. “If you don’t let me out I’ll just stay here and keep annoying you.”

 

Well, he wasn’t an Avenger for nothing.

 

“Jarvis, I think I’d like some mood music with my hmmm… orange Italian soda.”

 

“I’m sorry ma’am…”

 

Clint sighed in relief.

 

“We don’t have orange flavor. Only strawberry or mango.”

 

You knew he was doing this just to mess with Clint.

 

“Strawberry then.”

 

“Yes ma’am. And I assume you’d like the uh… special playlist Tony made for you?”

 

“Thanks Jarvis!”

 

Clint cringed as he imagined porno music coming out. Luckily it wasn’t that.

 

“HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!”

 

“SHITTTT!!” Clint screamed as the music reverberated in his ears.

 

“Great acoustics in the vent huh, Jarvis.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

You sank into the Jacuzzi, deciding to just get your clothes wet. You bobbed your head and sipped your soda oh so fancy. Yup, this day was getting better. You might even bring Loki in just for the fun of it.

 

Nah. Girls day.

 

“HELPP ME GUYS!!! HELPPP!! I’M TRAPPED!!”

 

Well with a third wheeler. Or second wheeler. But you could barely hear him over Avril anyway.

 

“WHAT’S WRONG?! WHY AREN’T THEY COMING!! THEY’VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO HEAR AT LEAST THIS INANE SONG!!”

 

“The area’s been soundproofed Master Barton.” Jarvis replied very politely. You almost snorted your soda in response. This was just too good.

 

Three more songs later (you decided to skip Baby by Justin Bieber ‘cause you didn’t like it either), you decided that you’d had enough fun for today. With Clint anyway.

 

“Okay Jarvis, I think we can turn off the music for a bit.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

The beat died down and you heard Clint still rasping for help. You almost felt bad. Almost.

 

“Thank you,” you heard him gasp. That’s more like it.

 

“Okay Jarvis, I think Clint’s done now.”

 

“As you wish.”

 

“FinaLLYYYYYYYYYYY!” Clint screamed the last syllable as Jarvis ejected him a tad forcefully back through the vent from whence he came. You heard an audible thud a few seconds later, followed by cussing.

 

“Jarvis?”

 

“Yes ma’am?”

 

“You’re the best.”

 

“Yes ma’am, I know.”

 

 

 

“Ow.”

 

“Stop squirming!”

 

“It hurts!!”

 

“Keep at it and I’ll add another bruise, Barton.” Nat the Cat was applying acupressure to Clint to help with the bumps he got from… not the battle yesterday… his recent run-in with Jarvis. Literally.

 

“Serves you right for spying on her Bird Shit.”

 

“Thanks, Bucky.” Clint responded sarcastically.

 

“You didn’t learn your lesson at all, did you?!” Steve on the other hand, was furious.

 

“It’s not like that!” He protested.

 

“Well and I thought I took a hard fall.” Loki walked in looking none the worse.

 

“Shut up Old Man. At least I didn’t get zapped.”

 

“I would much prefer that to… whatever it is happened to you. Perhaps you’ll know better than to creep around (y/n) now.”

 

“That’s what I said.” Bucky commented. “Hey look at this. Never thought I’d agree with Loki on something.” He gave a grim smile to Clint. “Congratulations. You brought us together. Fucker.”

 

“Hey! It’s not like I’m sitting here all dandy.” Clint rubbed his leg. “OW!”

 

“I told you if you kept squirming it would be worse.”

 

“I hate to say this Clint, but you really should know better than to try to outsmart Tony when it comes to his toys.”

 

“Yay Pepper!” Tony walked in and picked her up in a bear hug. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever stuck up for me!”

 

“Put me down or it will be the last.” Tony obeyed, but dipped her nearly to the ground and smothered her with kisses. “Ack!”

 

“Now let’s head up to the lover’s level now.”

 

“You call every level that!” Pepper yelled as Tony picked her up and dragged her to the elevator.

 

“Ahh the honeymoon stage,” he called over his shoulder as Pepper pounded at his back, trying to get him to let go of her.

 

Nat the Cat suppressed a laugh as she and Steve made eye contact.

 

“I don’t even know why I’m helping you. At this point, I’d rather beat you up some more.”

 

“I wasn’t spying!!!” Clint shouted so loud everyone stared at him. “Not that I wasn’t enjoying the view or anything-OW!”

 

Nat cracked her knuckles so Clint rushed on. “I was going to apologize.”

 

“Right. From a vent high above her new fortress.”

 

“Don’t sound so quaint Loki.”

 

“I suppose you prefer vulgar orc-speech instead.”

 

Steve gave Loki a pointed look before directing his attention back to Clint. “If you really wanted to apologize, why would you do it in such a stupid way?”

 

“Uh… because I’m stupid?”

 

“I’ll give you that one.” Bucky added grumpily.

 

“Spit it out Clint.” Nat the Cat looked at her hand calmly and Clint opened his mouth again. Realll quick.

 

“Okay okay! I wanted to surprise her!”

 

“By intruding on her new personal space?!”

 

“What’s wrong with that?!”

 

“You have no sense of normalcy.” Nat the Cat’s anger was slowly turning into exasperation. Which honestly wasn’t that much better.

 

“Even I know better than to drop in unannounced when Sister (y/n) wishes to be alone.”

 

“Hindsight is 20/20 Thor.” Clint shot back as the God of Thunder sat down on a couch nearby.

 

“I thought you said you were going to stop being dumb!” Steve was still stuck on the image of Clint crawling in with a sorry look on his face. It was so stupid, yet so imaginable.

 

“I guess it’s trial and error.”

 

“More like rolling a boulder up a cliff.”

 

“Thanks Loki.” Loki merely smirked as he picked up one of his many books and flipped a few pages.

 

 

Clint sighed, defeated. He really wasn’t good at this. He wished he could go back to when you were friends and would punch each other and sneak up on people. At least then, you were happy. With him. Now he didn’t know if you two would be able to be close again. Every time he tried to let you in, he ended up shutting you out. Badly. Ugh. Love was so complicated. He could easily take down three master snipers, but trying to give you a present, let alone apologize, gave him twice the injuries.

 

“Quit feeling sorry for yourself.”

 

“I’m not!” Clint refuted tiredly.

 

“Are too.”

 

Nat the Cat gave Bucky a dirty look. Everyone was mad at Clint, but there was no point in antagonizing him anymore.

 

“You’d be better off leaving her alone for the rest of the day, Brother Clint. Steve and I have some sparring to do and we won’t be distracted by another mess you start.”

 

“Yeah, yeah Thor.” Clint stood up carefully, trying to ignore all his sore muscles, and stumbled a few steps. “Oh yeah.”

 

He reached into his quiver and pulled out a plastic bag. “One of you give this to her. She’ll need it.”

 

“What is it?” Bucky regarded suspiciously.

 

Nat the Cat sighed and took the bag from Clint. “You mean well, Clint. But you are a complete and utter idiot.”

 

“So I’ve heard.” He lurched away slowly to the elevator. Even with all his injuries, everyone stared at him as the door clanged shut. That was probably the first time he ever used it.

 

“What’s in it Lady Nat?”

 

She bit her lip for a minute before replying. “A swim suit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEELS.
> 
> HERE'S A BLANKET. NOW CURL UP AND CRY WITH ME.
> 
> this is one of my favorite chapters; well every chapter is my favorite chapter but this one is just soooo so special *melts*
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> quick poll: does this chapter make you giggle more or feels (cry/bawl/etc)?
> 
> Quick n dirty poll: would you rather be punished by Steve or Bucky? (i love bucky more, but that metal arm might be a little heavy-handed HYUK HYUK*snort*)
> 
> just imagine Clint with his serious slightly pained face reaching behind him to his ever-present quiver containing only his precious arrows and pulls out a wrinkled old grocery bag. now feel with me.
> 
> Jarvis is the best. I write the best Jarvis. Jarvis deserves hugs and kudos.
> 
> Quick poll 3: Jarvis or Loki? weird right? 
> 
> i imagine Tony saying yay pepper like peter says yay lois in family guy! UGH. i used to hate family guy. i like american dad much better. also peter's so stupid it pisses me off sometimes. Tony on the hand pisses me off never; he's too damn sexy so he gets away with it.
> 
> Tony loves you. Brucie Loves you. Nat the Caty loves you. And Clint loves you.
> 
> and the other guys.
> 
> OH AND LOKI LOVES YOU. POOR LOKI. WHY AM I SO MEAN TO HIM.
> 
> IT'S BECAUSE I SECRETLY HAVE UNRESOLVED FEELINGS FOR HIM. LIKE, I LOVE HIM. BUT I ALSO THINK HE'S A DICK AND ULTIMATELY FORGIVABLE, WHILE DESERVING PUNISHMENT.
> 
> ooh who wants to punish Loki with me??
> 
> he gets plenty of punishment in my other fics. especially my one-shots. just not the kind you're looking for ;)
> 
> leave me some love, lovelies! until next time dahlinggs


	8. FEELSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhm.
> 
> FEEEEEEEEEELSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
> 
> enjoy my lovelies!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the long-awaited conclusion to this wonderous adventure! thanks for joining us in the ride lovelies!
> 
> shut UP tony!!
> 
> all i can say is feelsfeelsfeelsfeelsfeels nomindfuckswellmaybealittlebutmostlyfeels
> 
> FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
> 
> gimme some love if you liked it!

Bucky practically fell over as Steve leaned in to support him. Loki disappeared with an “Oh, Honestly.” Thor just looked around confused. Per usual.

 

“I don’t understand. Why is Brother Barton giving you a swimsuit now? Did he not buy it yesterday?”

 

“Thor…”

 

“And if he decided to wait, now was not the right time to bring it up anyway.”

 

“It wasn’t for Tasha.” Steve and Bucky had slid to the floor, completely giving up. “It was for (y/n).”

 

“But he-“

 

“He lied because he chickened out.”

 

“Ah.” Thor blinked for a second. “Well then. What a complete and utter fool.”

 

“Right?”

 

Thor walked off to find some Pop-Tarts as the three musketeers looked at each other tiredly.

 

 

“Okay, who wants to do it.”

 

“Not me.”

 

“I don’t think any of us want to, really.”

 

“I think Nat is the one that (y/n) will most likely let in.”

 

“That is completely unfair.”

 

“And true.”

 

Nat groaned as she cursed the day she got stuck with the Wonder Twins. “Fine. But you guys owe me. Both of you.”

 

“Why us?!”

 

“Because- you know what, you’re right. Everybody owes me. Also Clint owes everyone. We will sort. This. Out. Later.” With that, Nat the Cat stood up and marched off with the bag in hand to try to salvage Clint’s mess.

 

 

“Knock knock.”

 

You barely heard as you were up to your ears in water.

 

“Ah, Miss (y/n)?”

 

“Yes Jarvis?”

 

“Miss Romanov is here to see you.”

 

You sighed. You wanted to talk to her, but being alone was so nice. “Is it important?”

 

“She says yes, it is.”

 

Well Nat the Cat was sneaky enough to use that excuse, but if you were willing to talk to anyone at this point, she would be the only option. That used to be Clint’s job. But whatever.

 

“Come in, then.”

 

Nat the Cat walked in with a determined face, relaxing when she saw you blowing bubbles. “Hey (y/n).”

 

“Hey Nat.” You gave her a tired smile. “Here to join me?”

 

“Actually, no. I’m just stopping in real quick.” She wasn’t the messenger. Just the delivery boy. Er, person.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Here. It looks like you could use this.” She knelt down and passed the bag to you.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Open it up and see.”

 

You untangled the bag (why was it tangled anyway?!) and pulled something orange out. Very orange. Orange with yellow polka dots??!

 

“Uh, is this?”

 

“From me? No. I’m guessing you know who though.” She got up and started walking away. “I’ll leave you to your soak.”

 

“Wait!” She turned around. You were thoroughly confused. “But-“

 

“Sorry (Y/n). I was just asked to give it to you. That’s it.” With that, she walked out elegantly.

 

You looked at the ugly suit you had pointed out in the store. Well, Clint had pointed out. It must have been some cruel prank.

 

And yet as you looked at it, the polka dots were joined by wet spots.

 

 

 

You put Clint’s present to the side and cried.

 

 

 

“Well, I gave it to her.”

 

“How’d she look?”

 

“Not so good.”

 

The three musketeers were commiserating over a bottle of Vodka. One of Tony’s best. They figured they deserved it.

 

“Steve?”

 

“Yeah Bucky?”

 

“If you ever want to ask Nat out? Just goddamn do it.”

 

“I’ll uh, keep that in mind.” Steve was a beautiful shade of cerise.

 

 

 

“Get up, archer boy.”

 

“Oof.” Clint felt a sharp kick to his ribs from where he was sprawled out on the ground. He was so worn out he hadn’t even gotten in bed.

 

“You have five seconds before I give up on you.”

 

Clint turned slowly as he saw the sexy God of Lies standing over him, looking annoyed.

 

“Fuck off, Loki!!”

 

“Gladly. As soon as you get off your lazy insensitive arse and clean up this unfathomable mess you’ve made.”

 

“Fuck. Of-“

 

Loki grabbed him by the collar and heaved him into the air. “If it were not for (y/n), you would be dead.”

 

Clint reached down to cuff him in the ears as the two of them vanished.

 

 

“I’ve warned you, Loki.”

 

“Believe me, Jarvis, it is not I you should be concerned about it.”

 

“What the fuck Loki?!”

 

Loki had Clint pressed against the door so tightly his teeth hurt.

 

“I would hate to have a repeat of either incident.”

 

“Loki let go of me!” Clint landed a couple good blows before Loki decided that 3 copies of him would work better. This man was an avenger?! He scoffed.

 

“I apologize on behalf of Clint, Jarvis.”

 

“Like hell you do!”

 

“But unfortunately, out of the whole lot of you (y/n) is the only one I give a damn about. So I’ll have to ask you to step aside. Figuratively, of course.”

 

“Intriguing. Unfotunately, if I do not have her permission, I have no way of letting Master Barton enter.”

 

“Please, Jarvis. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

 

“I’m afraid it will be so if you stay the course you’re in currently, Master Laufeyson.”

 

“Very well.” Loki multiplied rapidly as hundreds of copies began filling the halls, all pressing in on the room.

 

“LOKI!” Clint was being suffocated by the weight of many… Lokis.

 

“This is a pain.” With a sigh, Jarvis began disintegrating the copies one by one. Efficiently.

 

“AUGH!”

 

“If you would cut it out, sir, I would gladly refrain. As it were, I’m afraid I will have to continue.”

 

 

Even submerged up to your eyeballs in your Jacuzzi, you could hear the ruckus out there.

 

“I’m sorry ma’am. Would you like me to sound proof the doors?”

 

“I’m okay.”

 

“Some music perhaps?”

 

“That’s alright.”

 

Outside, Clint’s howling and Loki’s shouting continued, along with Jarvis’s serene voice asking them to resist.

 

You were tired of it.

 

You had to get over yourself and do something. Even if it was painful, annoying and unfair.

 

You stepped out of the warm pool and walked to the door.

 

 

“SHUT! UP!”

 

And then there was silence.

 

“Is that better ma’am?”

 

“Yes.” You sighed.

 

You stood there for a moment before putting your hand on the doors.

 

“Are you sure, ma’am?”

 

“Yes Jarvis. Let them in.”

 

The doors swung open as Clint flew into you, smashing you to the ground. Well, almost. Loki managed to stop him in time, though it seemed like quite a struggle, the way his arm was shaking. He must’ve been fighting back pretty hard.

 

“Hey Loki.”

 

“(Y/n).” Loki nodded curtly, before sending Clint past you into a nearby wall.

 

You smiled sadly at him. This was what melancholy was, huh.

 

“Yes.” Loki whispered, his face stone. You knew better.

 

“I-“

 

“I know, (y/n).” He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to yours, before lifting a hand to caress your face gently. “I know.”

 

And with a sharp turn of the heel, he left. “Thank you Jarvis.”

 

“You’re very welcome sir.”

 

 

The doors closed behind him and you sat down with your back against them, putting your face in your hands.

 

“Hey, (y/n).” Clint’s voice was barely audible.

 

“Hey.” The misery in your voice surprised even yourself.

 

“Look-“

 

“I know.” You were shaking now, hard. It hurt so much. So bad.

 

Clint took in a gasp when he saw. “I-I’ll go now, (y/n). I’m sorry.” He hurried towards the door until you stuck your leg out and tripped him.

 

“Oof!” You laughed bitterly as you began bawling.

 

“Oh, (y/n)…” Clint scooted close to you, but he was afraid to touch you. “I’m so sorry…”

 

You shook your head fiercely and tried to take a breath, before bursting into more sobs.

 

“You don’t deserve me, (y/n).” His voice was filled with anguish, but steady. “You should be with him.”

 

You dug your fingernails into your palms and buried your face between your knees.

 

“He’s good to you. I know now.” Clint’s voice was wavering now, but he told his heart to stay firm. “He’ll treat you right. You… deserve him. And he’s the closest that a guy will come to deserving you.”

 

You let out a cry, before curling up in the fetal position and hiding your face. He was right. Loki was so good to you. And you loved him.

 

But not like you loved Clint.

 

You brushed at your eyes furiously as you hiccupped. You were choking, but you didn’t want to cry anymore.

 

“Let me get him, okay. He… he loves you.” Clint was trembling now, at the sight of your grief.

 

“Stop it!” You screamed into your hands as Clint started, looking at you with despair.

 

“I-I…”

 

“Just!” You couldn’t take it anymore. “Just stay!!” You inhaled sharply, quivering. Your whole body was quaking now, uncontrollably. You felt hot and cold at the same time, and your head was throbbing. There was a sharp pain in the back of your throat and you could not for the life of you stop sniffling. You were embarrassed. Ashamed. Humiliated. You hated having him see how pathetic you were.

 

You still wanted him there. With you. Even at your worst. Because it’s when you needed him most. If he could just stay, this once, you could let him go.

 

“Stay…” you breathed, afraid if you said it louder it would scare him away.

 

 

Clint sat still, his eyes on you. Only you. With your swollen red eyes, your running nose, soaking limp hair, curled up like forgotten, soggy laundry.

 

You were beautiful.

 

“Please.”

 

His arms were around you before his word was finished. He pulled you into his lap, encircling you protectively like a blanket. He took off his shirt quickly and wrapped it around your shivering shoulders, before holding you so tightly you could hardly breathe.

 

You had never wanted to less.

 

“Please let me. Stay.”

 

He didn’t have the words yet. He wasn’t a silver-tongued Prince or even a boneheaded Thunder God. He was his own, imperfect stupid self.

 

But he would love the hell out of you.

 

And you knew, now.

 

 

“Are you feeling better, baby?”

 

You nodded limply as he smoothed your wet locks from your face. “Is it okay if I call you baby?”

 

You snorted at the ridiculousness of it all. You, sopping wet, blowing your nose on Clint’s bare chest, both bruised and battered.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He lifted you gently to your feet. “Do you want to rest?”

 

“Mm.” He tucked you under his shoulder as you walked towards the door. Then he had a better idea.

 

“Do you want to lie in the Jacuzzi? I’ll go get a cot or something so you can sleep in here.” He snickered then, still himself. “Although you would probably sleep better upside down.”

 

You poked him in the side as he laughed and swung you up into the air. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” he whispered as he carried you like a bride the rest of the way.

 

“Here.” He lowered you in slowly, cushioning your head with one hand.

 

You smiled softly. “Thanks, Clint.”

 

“Sure, baby.”

 

“Don’t wear that nickname out.” He grinned. This was all he ever wanted.

 

“Whatever, baby.” You laughed and splashed really hard, soaking him to his knees.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Sorry, baby.” You mimicked him.

 

“Oh well, I’m sorry too.” He replied, before dunking your head in the water.

 

“Clint!” You bobbed up again, glaring at him.

 

He raised his palms. “Oh my gosh. I’m sorry.” He lowered his eyes. “That was too much. I just… we’ve always-” the rest of his words were lost as you yanked him in with one hand, before sitting on his head.

 

“Mff!” He tickled you in the ribs until you squirmed and got off him. “Just like old times,” he glubbed as he tried to get the water out of his nose.

 

“Yeah. Except now you know what I’m capable of.” You raised an eyebrow mysteriously at him and he grinned.

 

“Hey. What’s this?” He held up the orange suit and cocked his head at you.

 

“I don’t know. The ugliest suit in the whole freaking store?”

 

“Hey!!” He shook his head ruefully. “I know you made fun of it, but I… I didn’t know what you liked.”

 

“Not that!” He was so dense. “I specifically made fun of it!”

 

“Yeah but… I only picked it up in the first place because… well I thought you’d look cute in it.”

 

You sighed, hiding your smile. “You have the worst taste.”

 

“Besides! I thought you thought we were shopping for Nat! So I figured maybe you just didn’t think it would go with her, I don’t know, skin tone!”

 

“I don’t think it goes with anyone’s skin tone!!”

 

He pushed you lightly before pulling you against him. “Fine. We’ll take it back and exchange it tomorrow.”

 

“No.” You pouted at him.

 

“What?” He was very confused now.

 

“I’m keeping it.”

 

“You said you hated it!”

 

“I never said that.” You batted your eyes at him.

 

“You said it was the ugliest suit like ever!”

 

“But I didn’t say I hated it.” He rolled his eyes thoroughly lost. “I’m keeping it Barton. Since you got it for me.”

 

He grinned. “Good.”

 

“Also so I can tell everyone how bad of a shopper you are, and have full evidence.”

 

“No!” He grabbed the suit from you and tried to throw it across the room.

 

“I don’t think so!” You tackled him from behind, as he lost balance and crashed into the ground.

 

“Oh my god Clint…”

 

“Gah… it’s lucky this floor Tony put in is cushioned.”

 

“What?” You leaned forward and butted your head against it.

 

“(Y/n)!!!”

 

“What?! You’re right, it is soft.” You rubbed your cheek on it.

 

“What if I was lying?!”

 

“Well then you better watch it from now on, huh?”

 

“What am I going to do with you?” He laughed as you climbed onto him and pushed his chest repeatedly.

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Love me?”

 

Clint got quiet for a second as he gazed in your eyes. “Yeah. That sounds about right.”

 

“Good. Now kiss me.”

 

“Bossy much?!”

 

“Fine, don’t.” You got up for a second until he pulled you back down and began pecking you all over your face.

 

“Ack!”

 

“This is what happens when you tell me what to do!”

 

“No wonder they call you Hawkeye!!”

 

In the background, Jarvis sighed as several mechanical mops popped out of the walls and began mopping.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here. *hands blanket and teddybear* cry with me
> 
> BOOHOOHOOO
> 
> thanks for reading guys! hope you lovedddd it!!
> 
> random ramblings for those who know better:
> 
> FEEELSSSSSS  
> i'm debating if this wins the best chapter award. i think it definitely took a lot of thought as i needed it to be extra gushy but also painful.  
> a little angsty but not overly so.
> 
> LOKIII *sniff* 
> 
> TEAM JARVIS: for those of you who realized it, jarvis is team lovely ;). why? BECAUSE HE'S A TRICKY LITTLE TRICKSTER. the walls are soundproofed, but he purposely let the sound travel in so lovely could reunite with her loves. see? jarvis is awesome. you should love him too.   
> I'M SO SNEAKY LIKE THAT.
> 
> BONUS ENDING:OOOO THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD READ THE RAMBLINGS  
> i didn't want to put this in the actual chapter because i felt it worked better as a bonus: you'll see why in a sec
> 
> “Alright good work team. We finally did it.”
> 
> “Thor shouldn’t get any credit, since he didn’t actually do anything.”
> 
> “I disagree.”
> 
> “Of course you do Thor! But it’s true. You didn’t do shit.”
> 
> “I assure you my bowel movements are just fine.”
> 
> Everyone slapped their foreheads with their palm, even Loki.
> 
> “I think Loki gets MVP this time though.”
> 
> “Thank you.” Loki said haughtily, before returning to his book.
> 
> “Hey man, maybe (y/n) has a sister.”
> 
> “Shut up Bucky.” Steve and Nat smacked him simultaneously, one on each arm.
> 
> “Ookay then.” Tony clapped his hands and looked around. “Guess we got more work to do.” 
> 
> “Wha- oh no you don’t, Anthony Stark!” Nat the Cat growled as Tony walked away, whistling.
> 
> “Like I said, Steve-“
> 
> “Shut up Bucky.” 
> 
> Thor roared in laughter as Steve and Nat spoke at the exact time. “Perhaps the work is already done, Brothers.”
> 
>  
> 
> and there. i wanted to leave loki's sacrifice as a standalone.
> 
> but there's the bonus. YOUR'E WELCOME.
> 
> once again i hope you enjoyed this awesome work. XOXOXO


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